h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Do I have the honour of addressing The 'Lord' Mike Zigrosi, who has founded himself many times on the BBC Boards?

If so I find your stories and articles to be amazingly creative and utterly brilliant. I believe that on this 'first' encounter I would say that you and indeed your co-writer are very talented writers.

Have you ever considered to expand beyond the confines of the web and expand out into the real world, plan an invasion to storm into literary terms and conquer the hearts of minds outside the vast spectrum of the net?

How do you do it? Come up with so many great ideas and allow them to expand into a thrilling and greatly entertaining saga?

Thank you for your kind words Mister Corruptus, or should I just call you Tempus? Thank you indeed. I can't take all of the credit of course, over time many many people have contributed to the ongoing Lord Mike saga (notably Lance Baylis, Steven Ford, Matthew Painter, Richard Wilden, Marian von Wer and Martin Penny).

Do you actually post on the BBCi Doctor Who message boards (I'm going to feek so stupid if you turn out to be someone I know! )

Feek? Forgive me but I am not familiar with this term it is not registered in my vocabulary banks...

Do I register on this BBCi- Sort of, I'm a lesser known person on the boards do this do that- recently I wrote Doomsday on the Time and Space but I fear it did not do so well?

You on the other hand do extraordinarily well, your Raspulaltron saga is a credit to the BBCi itself and I a humble poster here find myself at a loss before you.

I am in short known as Ned. Ned Wills.

Ah, thank you for your kind words Ned. It's nice when someone credits your work! I haven't read Doomsday but I shall go back and attempt to find it if I can!

I fear though that you shall not find it. Cast to the void like so many a fragile gift, once it is broken it is cast.

As for this, what be in but a name anyway I have written so many more stories, I am a still a humble figure before you and Raspy.

A figure who trawls the vast ocean of data, picking out shiny things like a magpie, diving through into the cool, cool waters and replenishing my thoughts.

A poet at heart I am, a side so many find contorted and gone when I am posting on BBCi.

The mearest shame that we cannot do this on the Temporal/ Spacial Board.

Oh well, that is that.

I am a man who hides my identity behind a pseudenom, a name that I believe you would know, I have said it all ready but what, pray is is in a name, particularly my name?

Very poetic Ned!

Don't put yourself down, if you like writing then chances are that you are a good writer. Someone, can't remember who, said that anyone can write well, they just need the right story to show their talents through. Persevere, Lord knows some of my stories have been absolute rubbish (I reread the first Doctor Who I wrote the other day and couldn't stop crindging all the way through it!).

What is a name? A name gives us identity and allows us to become an individual. If we did not have a name then we would quite literally be no one, every one is assumed to have a name and without a name you cannot have a birth certificate, visavee, you don't exist...

Um you don't see it? Am I as translucent as worn and weared glass, my edges are clear but I am a blur to the eye?

Writing be in my blood and soul, the essence that holds my threads in place. I too share similar hatred for previous work: A Horror script in the backwash of Postmoderism cut deep to chance and now is so bad, I wish it had been made? Still could be?

Though I have written such great epics as The Doomsday Cause yet I know that this tale will never see the light of day because it is simply too long to post.

A simple action packed adventure on another world somewhere- Audio that is with some very effective enemies!

As you have had so many effective characters as I have packed a seven parter, fit to bursting.

If only it- I pray would see the blinding light of day, what's in a name?

What indeed, however my name Ned Wills, How does one point this out as false?

An elaborate rouse but I was so sure that you would have seen through it?

'If I look like glass, if I feel like glass then am I?'- Iphoadon, Falls the Shadow.

You could try cutting it down into smaller sections and posting them one at a time.

Hang on, I think I remember Doomsday now, was it the one that was going to be an Ebook but only had the Prelude posted?

No, no it wasn't. Nor would chopping up a story into five hundred words a piece, it would take too long and also far too long to reassemble, perhaps you or someone else would be interested in reading it- perhaps?

Iphoadon, an interesting name of a Seer. A Seer who speaks in riddles to try and allow for the Doctor to work it out- have you?

Doomsday Cause has never seen the light of day outside my computer, it could have been a great story, told.

Scientists conducting dangerous Time experiments, a werewolf double-act mercenary team, the return of an old enemy and bases under seige.

Doctor Who at its best yet it probably won't see past the light of day?

Quite Ned, or should I say: Richard?

I should have realised when you started putting question marks all over the place. Nice one, you actually had me going for a while!

Ned Mills

Indeed but it was not the punctuation- it was Ned Wills- an anagram of Wilden with an LS tapped on. Anything I can finally say Hi!

Be it true that there be others of a like minded quality found on this Board or is this a mere occurrence too rare?: And now the translation:-

Is it true that there are others here on this board that we all know of?

Indeed, you can find links to the pages of Pamela, Martin and Steve at the bottom of my front page. There are others as well, I believe but I haven't managed to find them.

P.S. It was the punctuation that was the big giveaway

Curses! My punctuation gave me away- a pox on the question marks!

As for Robots of Groove- very intriguing, I really am finding it most interesting?

As for the the sixties snap set- it really does seem that this was the only cliche- both our stories are infinitely different!

Oh and a Memo to Martin- Since he appreciates the Black Dalek- Sorry! Dalek Supreme, he may be interested in the new tale I have literally finished in Time and Space: Perspective.

But as for the info on the others, I was only half aware of yourself and Pamela but really had no idea about Martin or Steven?

Oh well into the vortEx I go. ""

Curses! My punctuation gave me away- a pox on the question marks!

As for Robots of Groove- very intriguing, I really am finding it most interesting?

As for the the sixties snap set- it really does seem that this was the only cliche- both our stories are infinitely different!

Oh and a Memo to Martin- Since he appreciates the Black Dalek- Sorry! Dalek Supreme, he may be interested in the new tale I have literally finished in Time and Space: Perspective.

But as for the info on the others, I was only half aware of yourself and Pamela but really had no idea about Martin or Steven?

Oh well into the vortEx I go.

And at the end of the void exists a cup of ?

I'm glad you are enjoying The Robots of Groove. Martin and I really wanted to write a silly story (the last silly story I wrote was last year's Christmas Special "Yet Another Sixth Doctor Adventure"). I can tell you that there is a big twist coming up, that I hope no one will have seen coming!

Well I look forward to the 'twist'. Still haven't worked out how we both created two stories featuring the same Doctor in the same decade?

I know it's weird isn't it? It's like a while ago lots of people started posting stories featuring the Eighth Doctor and Romana, very strange...

True but I haven't used Romana yet- have you any thoughts on the new Doctor I'm introducing?

No I haven't done a regeneration story but the aftermath- the beginning of a new Doctor:

See New Doctor.

Hello there sirs, how be thee this day?

Professor: Hmm this looks fishy but enough of stewed herring what do we have here?

[Assistant carries in a strange note]

Assistant: I found it just outside, what do you think it is?

Professor: I don't know it has a reply on it. Ecnal? Where have I heard that name before?

Assistant: It could be a ploy by those Rubberoids Professor?

Professor: You think so? Creatures that look like rubbery mosters do not send messages on door steps, they usually leave a clue behind?

Assistant: Could it be a clue- the name?

Professor: Ecnal? Hmm Why that's an anagram of Canel. I'd don't know anyone called Canel? Intriguing.

[Assistant answers a ringing phone]

Assistant: Professor? That was the Colonel, he says he found something similar to this on the Boards?

Professor: But how did he know about such a thing? There's more to this than meets the eye- which reminds me. I must go the optician?

Assistant: Professor, can I have a name?

Professor: Certainly, I shall call you Rupert.

Assistant: But I'm a girl.

Professor: Hmm? Intriguing?