h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lance wanders into Steven's personal space.

"Hello! There's some new stuff here!" he exclaims, perhaps a little too overjoyed at the prospect.

"What's this? It's a big button, with the words 'Ker-lick here' on them. I wonder what happens when I ..."



(Stock footage of a nuclear bomb exploding.)

"Ow." says Lance simply, picking his teeth up from the ceiling.

Lance, how did your teeth stay on the ceiling without falling off?

Can you stick to the surface like a spider or a fly, which is why your teeth are on the ceiling and you can walk freely like a spider across the ceiling and pick up your teeth?

In the tune to 'Spiderman! Spiderman!'

'Lance Bayliss, Lance Bayliss
Does whatever Lance Bayliss can
Climbs ceiling with a single bound
Hangs about with a bunch of clowns
Look out!
Here comes Lance Bayliss!'

Hello Lance, good to see you and your teeth here.

Are you having problems with H2G2 tonight? I ask because I keep clicking on buttons, and it just loads a blank white page for me. I've been trying to get onto here for ages.

Do you like my new look personal space? I'm particularly fond of my new button. Did you see, if plays an old film of a mushroom growing, but speeded up, when you click it? A friendly A.C.E. showed me how to do that.

I've also managed to write out the names of all my guide entries... I'm not sure why, it seemed a good idea at the time...

I'm sorry but Lance isn't available at present- which naturally means you'll log off as soon as you see my name-AGAIN!

Sorry to be appearing to invade your space, left a not on your thread before Pre-Mod took it back to its lair!

Anyway I've taken many times to get in before I answered your thread, all I got was a blank white page- a technical terror of the worst kind!

Methinks it might be the work of rodents in the system, not Gerbils that run the board but vermin, the lesser attractive cuddly sort that just get on with the work in hand but are prone to attacking each other, particularly when someone pokes them with a stick... Ah- just forget!

{Carefuls conceals pointed stick into a convenient bush by his foot}

<>

Sorry, am I doing that? It's pure coinincidence, you know. I'm always amazed by the number of times that just as I click on the log out button on MSN, someone else logs in, and assumes I left as soon as I saw them enter. I guess the law of averages explains it all, but I'm not really that bothered to try and work it out.

I never usually have problems with H2G2, but just recently, they've started with the blank screens. I believe you could be right about the rodents. Nasty little things...