h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's pretty much what I've sounded like for the past week, while being held hostage by a teeming mass of nasty renegade rhinoviruses. Half of my family and a certain Other Person simultaneously came down with common cold at the time my parents visited; being surrounded by people with drippy noses and scratchy throats, it would've taken a miracle for me to avoid being the victim of contagion.... and of course we all know that there's no such thing as miracles. (It *certainly* didn't help that I got violently whacked on the left side of my skull the day before I came down with cold...).

Things to remember:
1. Playing the trombone while suffering from cold can actually help clear your phlegm, and temporarily stop your coughing.
2. Playing the trombone while suffering from cold *and* vertigo is recipe for disaster. (oh my poor baby!)
3. Never snog someone who seems to be displaying early signs of cold.

At least I've pretty much gotten my voice back (although it sounds a squeaky major 2nd higher). It was hell trying to communicate the past few days, especially when the convenience store lady seemed convinced I would keel over and die at any moment.

I bet that spit valve gets a work out.

(Speaking of which, a friend of mine has a custom motorcycle with upturned exhaust pipes. When we got caught in a rainstorm I thought it would be a great idea to adapt spit valves to the bottom curve of his pipes... Beats having to sop the water out with rags.)

Take to flies and call me in the morning.