This is the Message Centre for Stealth "Jack" Azathoth
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Started conversation Dec 20, 2004
I feel I'm going to burst into tears... I feel like cutting and burning...
These fecking feelings to do with Suz are chewing my fukking heart and soul out, I want to cut the poison from my veins.
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Posted Dec 20, 2004
She is... Or was... That's the only way I can come close to dealing with it, to try to convince myself that I don't know who she is anymore.
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~*}Black Angel{*~ Posted Dec 20, 2004
......... You need to get a punch bag or something mate...... some other way to get rid of the stress.... otherwise you're gonna explode like I did...
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~*}Black Angel{*~ Posted Dec 20, 2004
I'm not angry either, but its still a way to vent emotion
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Posted Dec 20, 2004
Hootoo seemed to help more in the past... Sometimes being here just reinforces things. *sigh*
'Give me a little something to love...
Give me a little something trust...'
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Posted Dec 21, 2004
I often do. I've be listening to Tool, A Perfect Circle and Jack Off Jill amongst others... Sometimes I can lose myself in music, sometimes I can't... When metal fails I try darker drum and base.
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Snailrind Posted Dec 21, 2004
"Sometimes being here just reinforces things."
Is this where you met? (And please tell me if I ask too many questions.)
I recently discovered The Lightning Seeds, and I've been listening to them a lot lately. Keep wondering how I managed to miss 'em for so long, but then, they sound way more cheerful than my goth-type stuff. (Until I listen to the lyrics, anyway.)
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Kaz Posted Dec 22, 2004
Stealth, I know you recently my friendship was empty or something like that. Well that hurt me, cause it wasn't. We have talked on and off for a couple of years now.
It would be good to see you happier, maybe the advice I gave you about sue wasn't to your liking. It was only advice though, about how I would deal with it. You don't have to like it, but if you don't it doesn't mean my help is empty and hollow. It just means we deal with things differently.
If you really don't want me around then just say and this will be my last posting to you. But I would like to be your friend, maybe you wouldn't like everything I say, but that doesn't make me any less of a friend, it just means we are different, and thats not a bad thing.
Whatever you decide, I do wish you well. I see you are going to the h2g2 xmas party, I hope you have lots of fun. If you go by train, say a hello to me when you go through East Croydon, thats where I live!
I know you are hurting, but you have kept going so far, just keep going. We have suffered a lot of similar abuse, I thought that meant we have something in common, but it seems to make you angry.
I went through an angry stage for a long, long time. You may not believe me, but it does get better. I think writing your thoughts here is a great way, to let it out. You have so many friends here, who want to help you. That must say something about you!
I hope you decide you would like to be friends, but if not good luck in the future.
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Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs Posted Dec 24, 2004
well this may just be me, but i find an extreme amount of ska and a lot of skanking helps me. Maybe its coz its alot of exercise and weirdness... wish I could do something to make it feel better. x
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Posted Dec 24, 2004
Hootoo is where we first conversed, I joined hootoo becaused I was worried she'd killed herself.
But that isn't why being here reinforces the sense of being alone isolated and friendless.
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Posted Dec 24, 2004
I haven't listened to ska in what seems like years... I don't have many CDs, just those from artists whose every album I've loved... I don't to clubs much anymore, for money and lack of confidence reasons... There's club in Crawley that does some really good drum and base nights, and friends of Robert's are associated with a great Metal joint in Brighton... I'm hoping to go there on New Year's Eve.
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Steph~ "Yeah, we only want a beat that we can drum to" Posted Jan 1, 2005
SKA is actually a really good stress buster.... Also good stress buster, virtual bubble wrap.... erm I don't remember the site off hand but you can search for it on Google
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Stealth "Jack" Azathoth Posted Jan 15, 2005
I don't exactly have ready access to the internet when I'm in Hayward's Heath... I do have draw with some bubble wrap there though... Don't tend to take to popping in times of stress though... More likely to try watching a film or listening to loud music and taking some lorazepam and rarely getting drunk.
Key: Complain about this post
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- 1: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 20, 2004)
- 2: Snailrind (Dec 20, 2004)
- 3: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 20, 2004)
- 4: ~*}Black Angel{*~ (Dec 20, 2004)
- 5: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 20, 2004)
- 6: ~*}Black Angel{*~ (Dec 20, 2004)
- 7: Snailrind (Dec 20, 2004)
- 8: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 20, 2004)
- 9: axe_slingin_doug (Dec 21, 2004)
- 10: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 21, 2004)
- 11: Snailrind (Dec 21, 2004)
- 12: Kaz (Dec 22, 2004)
- 13: Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs (Dec 24, 2004)
- 14: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 24, 2004)
- 15: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Dec 24, 2004)
- 16: Steph~ "Yeah, we only want a beat that we can drum to" (Jan 1, 2005)
- 17: Stealth "Jack" Azathoth (Jan 15, 2005)
- 18: Snailrind (Jan 20, 2005)
- 19: axe_slingin_doug (Jan 23, 2005)
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