h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm fat, sad, lonely and pathetic... I cut my arm badly today... all these obsessive thoughts and feelings running through my head and heart tearing me up inside because I love someone that can never feel for me what I feel for her... I idealise her, I demonise her because BDP makes me do that to the ones I care about the most... I want to be a good friend to her but how can I do that? I just can't cope with the mess my head is in... I nearly took an overdose again to make it all stop... that why I'm here an onnline because I came to my Mother's rather do that to myself... I'm so lame, I'm so pathetic, so unworthy of someone so beautiful in everway someone that paranoia tells me doesn't care about me at all but reallty hates me for having these feelings for her...
Everything inside me tells me to kill myself rather live the torture of a , rather than hurt her in my pathetic lameness and selfish desire...
I'm incoherantly babbling... the point is rather do what would be so easy and kill myself I must leave h2g2.

Bye.

Stealth


plz dont leave, me will miss speaking to ya.. ur a very gud pal that i can speak to without being judged for wat i say, no matter how low and bad it it xx

i do feel like u alot, not in cutting myself tho... i do get to that stage nearly x

me really dont want ya to leave :9

clairey xx

stealth - dont leave. It wouldnt be the same without you. I've felt how you feel too, but its not a reason to give up... good luck hun

stealth, please don't leave H2G2, and please don't give into those suicidal feelings, however much it looks as its the answer now, I'm sure things will get better for you, your just seemign to be having a ton of different s**t happening at the same time at the moment

I've come on today to apologise to the one concerne in the journal for expressing things in such a public way... I should have kept it to myself, but I am weak...

I'm leaving h2g2 at the very least for a few day likely for much longer. I have nothing of value to contribute to this site and most people here don't like me as much as they like to think they do anyway.

Hi Stealth, I'm not really acquainted with you but I have a tendency to try to help? If it seems nosy then tell me.

Whatever you think about yourself, it's wrong. When you, or anyone, gets into these bad mind-states it isn't real, the things you hate about what you are aren't actually real. In the grand scheme of things. I mean of course you feel like it, and I absolutely identify with that, but it isn't so appalling that you could kill yourself because of it.

Think of all the people you affect. Killing yourself would hurt them more than staying alive would. Honestly, it's true.

And with the SI, it's bad of course but try to wean yourself off it gradually if you can; it is better than committing suicide, though, and if you feel you can't be without it then you should carry on until you're strong enough to stop.

You said you like Muse? You should buy, or listen to, Absolution, because it is genius and wonderful.

"Keep blood on the inside and nowhere else"
"There is a way out of this mess, find some sunshine for your face"
"Times are fierce then times are fine"

Stealth


it is upto u.....


but if ur pals didnt like u thta much, why are we begging u to stay???

plz think...

clairey

*agrees*

Cinnamon

....

were u a ex lder?? jus i recognise name

I do enjoy you being here, often in teh evenings you are one of the main people I'm hatting with, and its always good to talk with you.
Have a break from teh site if you insist, but please do come back soon

Missy (sorry can't spell the second bit)-

no, I'm not, but it's a song title so it's probably quite common. aaah, I'm so conformist! Noooo!

Cinnamon


ahh i seeee

Hi..you dont really know me i know..but i do know exactly how you feel being 1) a bpd sufferer n 2) very experenced in the tortures of unrewquited lurrve
however you are 'not' pathetic..you just feel more than other people do..though i know how easy it is to feel that way.
thees no such word as never, and no one is worth taking your own life for. Its hard to try to be a friend to someone you feel a lot deeper for..(ive failed more times than suceeded) but it can be done! ..just takes a little faith and strength..that we all have in there somewhere. in the end relationships come n go like the weather..a true friend is someone you love n treasure for life. If you ever need a chat give me a shout

Thanks...

How are you now?

Not so bad as I was... closer to some sort of stability... closer to comigh to terms with only havig her friendship... Still feel like self harming and suicide though... taking all I have not to.

Good luck

sounds to me that you need a hug

I have the friendship of the one I love, I will learn to be content with this.