h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At Christmas most people's money and time is wasted on two things:
* Christmas Cards
* Christmas Presents

Christmas Cards

The money is wasted on A)buying the cards and on B)buying stamps for the cards for people who do no live within walking distance

To save money tell all those people who see regulaly that you don't want to destroy the planet by cutting down trees when you can just tell them to have a merry christmas

To save money use a public phone to phone tell and using the excuse from above wish them a merry christmas and then fake running out of money so as not to prolong the convosation, if they ask why you are using a public phone instead of the mobile they brought you last christmas - hang up

Christmas Presents

The more 'close' friends you have the bigger your bill
Start telling people that you do not believe in having best friends so you have none - that then puts everyone in the same group - people I hang out with leaving the 'friends' group nicely empty

Then delete all people who used to be in the 'people I hang out with' group leaving only the people who used to be in the 'friends' group

Then buy each person in the newly arranged 'people I hang out with' group a small present that costs less than a pound

This will mean that you have lots of money left to live on for the rest of the year

or just bake some mince pies and put em in a nice box with a bow on it and give it to everyone.

Although part of my sisters xmas present this year was that I cleaned her kitchen for her, and I cleaned my mums shower...they're both working long hours and finding keeping up with the housework tough and I'm on hols all over xmas. It was nicer to see them than any present they will have bought me, I hope they feel the same way.