h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Yes, coldplay

We can do some barnet for lunch, or just B to the Wizza

Its a lovely day to buy some low quality sportswear

Spains!

Check out the BBC office website

Very funny indeed

Read the newsletter

hahahaha

See u in 20

Dude! Is Will driving on Friday? I figured he might be, what with taking about £2500 of equipment to the gig on his own. We need to get painfully f****d up and get him back. We all need to get so staggeringly a**e holed that he has to Will-walk EVERYBODY home. It is PAYBACK. Na-rooty!

We need to bring about 35 withy us in order to make it worthwhile. Yes. I am going to drink about 16 pints of stella and then imbibe vast quantities of Lynx, Tipp-Ex, emulsion (cream natch) and turps.

I will puke on your car until it is covered with about 2 inches of my blood and a few lengths of intestine.

Hehehehe. I am going to start drinking tomorrow lunchtime. No, scrub that. I am starting now. I have already necked the contents of 4 toner cartridges.

Booooom!!

Fit bird, wanting to bring a fella? Nah, scratch that!

We must get all the tickets tonight, as we dont want any screw ups

Keep it realistic

U comin over tonight or is it another quiet one tonight?

Woo-hoo!! Nearly time to go home!

Don't worry about fitbird. She is superficial and looks a bit like Yvette Fielding. Nah. Everyuone else must get their tickets tonight, we must make sure Will has got his priorities in check. I won't go unless I get on the guest list, or else I'll take my guitar back like like a playground 5 year old would a football. Ruppy!

Don't know about tonight. B****r all petrol, enough for tomorrow etc. Probably a quiet one and then an explosion tomorrow. I have a free house for a week next woche I believe. I will have to cook for myself, you get me? I have to get some OREGANO in, in order to SPICE UP my cooking. You get me? Ruppy!

This afternoon I have transfered 500k of dataa from a floppy disc. yes? To a ZIP disc! I was instructed to do this tomorrow as it wasn't important, and would give me something to do tomorrow as the 2nd string boss is on leave tomorrow. Hahaha. Studiously I spent 25 seconds doing this and have since been reading about roundabouts and various dumps in the UK.

Ruppy duppy! Moooog-arrrrrrr!

You know, Will was so bl**dy witless last time that I never even thought that we may be able to get in for free.

I'll start drinking at the gym, like a f****d up arnold boozynegger!

Puse

I've started drinking already. Just a can of stella in the bog. Christ it hits you at this time of the morning. Will be puking by 11.30.

Rap-schnizit

Bei-rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot! Nacky

Thats swell.

Did you bring clothes, or do you have to mince off home like a little girl?

This is going to be ace!

Wizzup!!!

3 cans down, feeling p****d. May shoot home this afternoon for a few hours kip. Didn't go to bed until 4 this morning. Ra. I'm slaughtered. Haven't done any work still. Going searching on the beeb website for new stuff. Boom bye-bye

http://www.bbc.co.uk/whatson/events/content/music_promo_2_thu.jpg

check it out! guess who this is!

Clue - she used to be a fatty fatty...

come on! f*****g guess you c**k sucker! guess who it is. guess. you must be back from your travel s**ts by now. why don't you just go before work anyway? I detest the likes of you, I genuinely do. I'm not meeting up for lunch, I'm going to Keith's Hardware to ask Keith how he's getting on. You c**t. Absolut c**t!

Jesus.

Guess who it is dammit. Guess. Do it.

Aids

Its the delectable alison moyet of course

Are you really p*****d?

Naughty

Horsebox are RUBBISH!

Keeping it creel

It's big fat fatty Alison 'fat chunks' Moyet (fat fat fat). She used to be really fat. Now she is probably just podgy. Rik Waller in a dress fat, you know. But no shark teeth on her. Boom!

Will Will wear the Kodak caps?

I think yes. Wear them on his fat f***ing ar*e he will
I think we sholud force ourselves a support gig tonight, as

'Vomit apocolypse'

Do some serious faith no more stuff

hmmmm?

'GOOOOD EVENIN' SPITZ CLUB! WE ARE 'THE GULAGS' AND WE ARE GOING TO TURN THE AIR-CONDITIONING DOWN TO -40 AND WORK YOU TO DEATH ON A COLD LONELY ROAD'

HI!

WE ARE HOT NEW AUSTRALIAN BAND 'THE STALINS'

IF WE SUSPECT YOU OF ENJOYING OUR MUSIC, WE WILL LINE YOU UP AGAINST A WALL, WITH YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY, SHOOT YOU , AND SELL YOUR BODIES TO STARVING, TOOTHLESS PEASANTS.

'WE ARE THE VIETNAMESE ROCK GROUP THE SKULLS AND YOU CAN CATCH US ON TOP OF THE POL POTS!'

Boom f*****g Boom

These peoples are all in my little black book and are marked for death. He he he. F*****g he he.

U123456 noon

A850051

hopefully that link will work, might give you some ideas about charging Manpower some extra money for their mistakes - write them a letter and then charge them for it. Give it a try. I've already written a letter to your dad regarding the theft of Stella Artois.