h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello! Good weekend in the place where mockney becomes westcountry? Man I feel like s**t this grey and dreary morning. Don't think I can face another week of this f*****g boredom but still I need the fast bucks to fight the power. I'm going to be getting out of here soon, decided it is time to move out of this place and get where the action is (like Gordon Gecko).

Bad weather means that the action on the boulevard may be muted today, or like stinking insect-people they may come scurrying out of their godforesaken little scumholes and into the warmth of discount sports shops to provide muchel boothe entertainment and jollity outside of this, the workspace.

Peace and good chills as my good friend the Reverend Slammin' Vinyl once said to me at a gabba get-together.

My My,

Weekend was the best ever. Absolutely f***in' fabulous. Lots to tell old legume, lots to tell. Busy as a Bee on base today. Lets do that crazy G thing at lunch! My work here runs out in two weeks, so lets quit at thhe same time.

Peace out

Mork

I am planning to go out in a blaze of glory like the man in the films Mister Emilio Estevez son of the more famous Juan-Martez and brother of Carlos. I am going to set my eyes on fire and enter the building crying blood and flames whilst 'surfing' atop my car which will plough through the building recking it, meanwhile my tear flames will set fire to the faces of all the child s**s who are currently crying in the room next door to me and have been for the last two and a half hours in a wailing cacophony of unison child shout-shout noisecore.

I will yell 'stuff you job up your cakehole you bunch of bumwipe' whilst pulling the 'Platoon' pose in the middle of the smouldering rubble and hold it until my eyes melt completely and dribble down my chin, wherein I slump forward muttering 'damn you B to the Wizza, damn you...'

Alternatively I may just get myself a temp job in the city working with proper human beings and people with functioning brains with the ability to listen without their mouths hanging agape and a sheer look of disbelief flooding across their gormless heads at my ability to print an e-mail or spell S-P-A-I-N without having a brain haemorrage.

Usual lunch is probably the way, like a child sat in front of an assembly rabbi, I am dutybound to hear your 'tales to tell' but if they involve any acts of public nudity or inflatable children's play items I must ask you 'please no' for they are becoming somewhat old-hat these days old bean. Message Will to drive down and meet us there at the same time for a twin assault on Sports and Scum.

Peace n' fleece

Ohohohohoh

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/140000/images/_144728_Sanderson300.jpg

heheheheehehe. Did she look that good in real life?

You are a d**k

Can I have a lift home in your Prada LADA?

Haha Gooowaaaan goooowaaaan goooowaaan, like in Father Teds

SPPAAAAAAAIIIN

I'm so sorry. No really. Dreadfully sorry. I am. Honestly.

Mr Travel Poop has just arrived with his fair lady, Mrs Travel Cack to share in the combined marital hobby of travelling and then depositing waste.

Sorry about the last message. Is this more appropriate?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/530000/images/_533490_fatima_150.jpg

VERY GOOD

THIS YOUR POPS AFTER HE JUST HAD HIS EVENING PIE.MMMMMMMMM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cgi-perl/h2/h2.cgi?state=threads&board=radio1.peel&

Man, you gotta behave yourself and stop blowing your bosses trumpet at every available opportunity. You appear to work far to much every day, whereas I have this morning managed to read countless articles here about a range of diverse topics. I am currently undergoing paid education and furthering the emancipation project, whereas you work slavishly for the man.

Sort it out. It's not fun but it needn't be a job as well.

Sorry old sprout

Very busy, and I find it makes the time go fast.

Skint as a bugga but wanna do cool stuff

Dentist at 4:15 so leaving early

See you at lunch

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/tv_film/newsid_2329000/2329441.stm

read it and weep. a sad sad day in the history of the world.

ooh my teeth, ooh my teeth, you big nancy!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A388172

read this fantastic diary! been reading since getting into work with the managers blessing as no work for me to do. I am now on week 8 and may be finished by the end of the day!

Peace n' s**t, see you at lunch

Very on display at work, so hard to write anything. Have to cu at lunch mate. Lets go somewhere new, eh?

Wills on the BBC listings page!

woooooooh!!!!!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/whatson/moreinfo.shtml?TEMPLATE=detail.html&EVENTS_ID=31153&VENUES_ID=138343&LISTINGS_DATE_FROMDATE=18-OCT-02&SITENAME=external/music

Is that it?!?!?! Christ! Hardly the lights on Piccadilly Circus is it? I've got my name up there, I changed it by deed poll to Sanyo just t'other day.

Im bored and Miserable. Whats the juice on tonight?

dunno dude, i'm don't mind, skint though and not much petroleum. may just have a quiet one but will see what is going on. give wilbur a buzz or summink

Will going to try to find an open mike night with Tom. See you in 15mins!!

Hey there t**t face. Wazzzuup. Finished reading the monster, now trying to find another project for the day. Bored already, might go home early.

Rap-star

You aint going nowhere.

Sit tight and ride it out

We is getting very sozzled tommozza

Woh-Nigh!!!

I have again done f**k all work today. I have read a large wedge of No Logo for £6.54 an hour so I can't complain! I dozed off for about ten minutes and am now f*****g about with bits of clipart to feign sexual assault poses for a laugh.

I might go through to one of the other rooms and have a lie down on a sofa.

I am going to chill my beers tonight and get almightily f****d up on Friday night, and hopefully be able to have cheap one. Was thinking about trying to get hold of a camcorder or something to film the gig for Will. My bro has a fab digital jobbie but I don't reckon he would do a lend as it wouldn't be insured. And I will be f*****d up anyways!

Listening to V****n Radio that is on in the bloody office. Ooh the Manics! Oooh Red Hot Chilli Peppers! Oooh Oasis! Ah! But, Depeche Mode! The Stranglers just said 'I could thing of a lot of worse places to be! Like down on the streets...' Ball cox, I can't think of anywhere worse to be. Maybe in the Bronx like the almighty Bruce Willis in Die Hard 3. Oh god. I might gas myself in the oven in the kitchen. C*****g Coldc**t on the c*****g radio. Help me die. Please. have mercy, i beg of you!