h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi KM, just thought I'd stop by and say that since I don't seem to have had much else to say round here (or anywhere else, for that matter) for ages. Perhaps I need prodding with pointy sticks...

*prods himself with pointy sticks*

...nope, that hasn't helped. Oh well.

Ta ra a bit.

Hmm. Pointed sticks have failed... this is strange.

*plugs in the vacuum cleaner* Let's try something new then, what say you Jonny?

*decides to back away slowly*

Oh, now I see what I've done to deserve the vacuuming... (this may or may not makes sense, depending on the order you've read things. Although you may not read the other thing at all, in which case please ignore my opening sentence. Actually, it may be safest all round if you just ignore it anyway.)

Krissy, don't leave - I may need you to be a witness if this all goes horribly wrong.

KM, I can't quite see what kind of machine you've got hidden away there, is it an upright or one of the dumpy cylinders with a hose attachment? Thinking about it, I'm not sure which one would be worse.

*helpfully*

I think the worst would be if she decides to bash you with it.

Hmm, I don't think she would have plugged it in if she was simply going to bash me with it. I mean it would unnecessarily limit the range of attack for one thing. Something more sinister is afoot, I feel sure of it.

Well,

That might be true unless she was intending to leave some of the wires exposed, douse you in water and THEN bash you with it. That would be FAR more sinister.

Um...if she asks you to undress, I wouldn't do it if I were you.

Getting undressed might be my best defence (although not in a court of law) as the ensuing fits of laughter would give me a chance to escape...

Then QUICK!! GET NAKED!!

*quietly pulls out video camera, strobe lights, disco ball and feather boa*

Don't mind me.

*writes down Krissy's weird kinks, in the big blackmail notebook* uh huh.

No no no no.... These aren't MY kinks..they're the public's kinks.

I see my chance to create blackmailable material, and I take it. Does that make me a BAD person??

Oh, what the heck?

*Gets naked and runs off very quickly*

*kicks on lights, whings boa at Jonny and tries to get some good video*

Damn! He was too fast.

Awwww....how am I going to make money with 2 seconds of Jonny's butt covered by a feather boa?

There's GOT to be a market. There almost always is.

(heeheehee! I saw Jonny's butt!!!)

Ahhh! Amanda, you want in on this?? We could package it cleverly!

*Returns to pick up one of his socks that he dropped in his desperate dash to escape*

See, told you it'd make you laugh.

Aha! A boy who leaves his socks on.

Mmmm....classy.

No, no, no, no, NO!

I took all my clothes off, gathered 'em up and scampered off. It's just that it my rush I dropped one of my socks. I'd never dream of leaving my socks on, when I get naked I get naked - no point going off at it half-cocked.

Oh, and where socks are concerned, "Hmmm, cheesy" is more the ticket.

"than to go off half-...."

*giggles in a decidedly juvanile fashion*

*goes and be's lewd in a corner*

I'm SO glad you said that so I didn't.