h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ooh, yes please! Nice big baps! They do look tasty!

Hey, get those hands away from my baps, sir! Fondling the merchandise is most unhygienic. Other people might want some too, you know...

I'm sorry, but the sight of delicious-looking baps like yours makes my mouth water. Now what have you got for afters? I'm in the mood for something a bit fruity!

Anyone see the programe on Hattie Jaques T'uther night??
And anyone would think you we're making tit Jokes Delphi!!
( Helena is off out to a gay bar that we frequent, being drama luvvies, and some of our lot work behind the bar. She is renound in there, from the day that she went in, having been absent for a number of months, and the (Very Camp) barman proclaimed loudly "God, I've missed those tits" Thankyou and goodnight)

So what did you and your friends order in the bar, Helena? A couple of big jugs, perhaps?

Oh Yes!!

There's nothing like a couple of nice big jugs to get everyone slurping away happily.

The barman missed your tits, Helena? Surely he shouldn't have been aiming at them in the first place...

Slurping sound . (to the sound of music).
Organ stops
"Pork scratching all around"
slides to the floor and makes Exit.

Am I to understand that said barman is a keen ornithologist?

I'd say he would be more interested in more mammalian, sorry, mammarian lifeforms. Anyway, he would seem to be in the wrong line of work.

Well, credit where it's due. Helena was away from the bar for months, but the barman still noticed when she came bouncing back to get a couple of large ones in!

How could he not notice? I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash of the eyeballs (or any other kind).

I see Delphi's got some floury baps, has she been baking?

I don't know. She wouldn't let me touch her baps.

Ooops. I got over-excited there and shot a blank. I didn't know girls could do that.

Anywya, yes, I've been baking. Baps were yesterday though. Today it's dumplings...

Wow! Delphi lost for words!

Well, now I've seen everything! (These new binoculars work great!)

Everything? So have you seen Delphic's dumplings?

"And so, the one who was called Mustapha looked over the dumplings of the Delphi with his mighty binoculars, and saw that they were good."

- from "The Insane Ramblings of Mustapha the Delusional"

"And indeed they were good, but Mustapha, the one who is deluding himself, will not be getting any today."

The Book of Oracle (Know all, See all, Pay nowt)