The Edge
Created | Updated Mar 6, 2003
Part One
The Universe is a big place. I mean not semi-big or just plain large, I mean BIG. Think about it. It's everything. Everything that ever existed ever. Or is it?
1,000,000,000,000 BCE
In the furthest reaches of the multiverse there is The Great School-Child, a composite of all the school children that have ever and will ever exist. Due to the extreme amount of children who have gone to school, when you look at her (or him, as the case may be) you aren't looking at her/him but a different version of her/him.
She (we'll settle with the feminine version) occupied a space in time not known to anything, except her and a few other Greats (Head-teacher, Shop-keeper, Policeman, Idiot, that sort of thing). She existed on The Edge of reality, literally. That is where all of the Greats lived, on the edge of the multiverse far away from the busy life of e-mails, mid-morning rush hours and bagels that only the extremely dumb or extremely brave would dare eat on Earth.
Technically she didn't exist, she was, again like all the Greats, only a mind, albeit a powerful one. She could never have a physical or even meta-physical form. But, minds were strong and she could manipulate physical objects to her own ends, even occupy bodies, but never permanently as a body belonged, and so within a matter of days she was rejected. Time to her passed quickly, something that she regretted deeply, as trying to have a conversation with anyone apart from the other Greats was near to impossible, as in the time it took her to form a sentence, the person she was speaking to usually died1.
She had a plan.
One that would take 1,000,000,000,000 years to complete. Along with the centuries of practice. Centuries of fine tuning her arm and wrist muscles, centuries of developing her hand-eye coordination. All this waiting and the moment was finally here, the moment she would get her revenge. She had ten rounded bullets. Two large, white hot bullets, eight small bullets. On each of them, inscribed in lettering as high as mountains and as low as ocean trenches, was the word Head.
She put the first white hot bullet into the Great-Catapult, aimed and fired. She then repeated the same process for the two small bullets. The third small bullet she spat on and said slowly, "this is for the Geometry essay", aimed and fired. She then finished off by firing the last six bullets, including the other white hot bullet, and sat down and reflected on her existence, long and meaningfully, until she noticed that each and every one missed.
In a word that took centuries to form, she said simply, "Damn".
While the spit evolved.
