h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You don't have to tell me if you don't want to!

Do you know how long it took my to house that Balrog? The one skulking in that large abyss over there. Now that was a messy experience. Never again!!!

I can imagine.

Here you go then, I've saddled up Feuerfärt for you so you can go for a test flight.

He shouldn't eat you now; he's bonded to you by scent. But just incase things start to go wrong you'd better take this with you. A gentle tap between the ears and he'll return home to the roost with you intact.

Have fun.

Thanks.
*mounts dragon*
Okay, what do I do noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!!
*dragon shoots of into the sky*

You've left the behind.

Oh well, I suppose I'd better take it to you.

*Mounts Tewdric and sets off in persuit of Ralph *

Whatever you do, don't let go......

You're telling me!

I thought some friendly advice would remind you not to panic.

*swoops past on Tewdric and circles round again. *

You'll find it more comfortable if you grip slightly harder with you knees and sit up. These aren't designed for lying on.

Okay, I'm sitting up now. How do you steer?

Ok, now you're in a comfortable position , you can steer by very gently applying pressure to your mounts side with your heels. Whatever you do don't kick him; they're all very sensitive round their middles.

*nudges Dragon slightly*
I don't think he's listening!

You don't look like you actually think you're in control at the moment. Feuerfärt won't do much for you unless you convince him that you want to be in charge.

Relax a bit, tickle his ears, then try again.

*s Dragon, Dragon bucks*
I don't think he likes it!

* Catches Ralph and positions him on Tewdric. *

Right, I think we head back to the roost and attempt to sort this one out with solid ground under you. You’ve got a stubborn one there, he'll be fiercely loyal once you've convinced him to accept you but it may take a bit of time.

* Whistles, both dragons wheel round and head back for the roost *

Feisty brute, isn't he!

Give him some time and he'll settle.

YOu may need to find some fire proof boots before that happens though.

I'll go into town this afternoon to find some!