h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Greetings All!

I thought I would start a thread to try and gauge opinions on the following:

1. Who is the best Bond?

2. Which is the best Bond film?

3. Who is the best Bond villain?

4. Best sequence in a Bond film?

5. Loveliest bond girl?

Here are my humble opinions:

1. Sean Connery. Definitive, although all actors have brought something different to the role.

2. The Man With Golden Gun. Inventive, fun, good villains, smashing stunts. The complete package.

3. Christoper Lee's Scaramanga for sheer silken menace.

4. Tough call, so I might as well go for the opening sequence of Goldeneye for sheer bravado and for being such a smashing return to form.

5. Denise Richards, who is both of the best things in Tomorrow Never Dies.

What do the rest of you think?

Ooops. Denise was in The World is Not Enough.

No redeeming features in TND, then...

1. Connery. No Question.

2. Goldfinger. Possibly the last one that was a good film as opposed to being a good Bond film.

3. Charles Gray as Blofeld in whichever one that was.

4. Michelle Yeoh's kick arse fight scene in whichever one she was in. Or alternatively. 'Hello my name's Pussy galore.' 'Of course it is.'

5. Halle Berry. I'm assuming here on other things because I can't bring myself to watch another Bond movie.

1. Probably Sean Connery, but it's a close-run thing between him, Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan.

2. I really don't know. I'll say Die Another Day.

3. Elliot Carver in Tomorrow Never Dies. It's fun trying to spot who he's supposed to be (Gates, Maxwell, Murdoch, etc.?).

4. My memory fails me here. Some of the pre-titles action sequences in the recent ones were pretty good.

5. Why the lovely Mis Moneypenny of course!

And I'll add a new question:
6. Which is the _worst_ Bond film?

1. Sean Connery, followed by Brosnan, Moore, Dalton and the absolutely diabolical George Lazenby. Ugh!

2. Not much to choose between them, but it's probably got to be one of the early ones like Dr No or Goldfinger.

3. Jaws of course.

4. Probably one of the skiing ones. Which is the one which ends up with him getting into an iceberg flying the british flag? I like that one.

5. I can't remember which is which now, they've all blurred into one (with the exception of "Pussy Galore" and "May Day" - neither of whom get the prize for sure)

6. It has to be Thunderball or On Her Majesty's Secret Service (because it has Lazenby in it).

6) Moonraker. Simply the pits.

I forgot to answer my own question! I think the worst one may well be Moonraker, for the shudderingly ridiculous foray into sci-fi, all-in-one lycra, laser shoot-outs and all. OHMSS redeemed itself with a superb theme song, especially the Lemonheads remix.

Of course, the in me wants to answer the first three questions thusly;

1) Casino Royale

2) David Niven

3) Woody Allen

I've got to see that some time.

I wouldn't bother, seriously. It's not very good. In fact, it stinks. Just not as badly as Moonraker.

I've only seen bits of Casino Royale, so I can't comment.

Surely View to a Kill is worse than Moonraker? Roger Moore was so far past it by that point it just isn't funny. And Christopher Walken makes the worst Bond Villain ever.

- shaken not stirred...

I've never actually seen View to Kill. Though I find it hard to believe that Christopher walken wa bad in anything...

Hey Blues,

I would tell you not to bother with View to a Kill, but it is quite staggeringly bad. Walken isn't given anything to do, leaving Grace Jones with all the action. It just looks cheap and tawdry. And Walken wears sunglasses for most of it (and a slightly embarressed expression ) so his famous dead-eye stare is wasted. For my money it is much worse than Moonraker, which at least had Jaws.

I found a little book on Bond the other other day, deconstructed by none other than Kingsley Amis. He says that Sean Connery is nothing like the literary Bond at all.

I'm unlikely to bother with View To a Kill. I can't stomach them these days.

Wasting Walken should be a capital offence.

Connery is nothing like Flemings character. In fact Fleming was irate at the casting of 'that bloody Glasgow milkman' in Dr No.

*bows to blue sharks superior knowledge*

I was thinking that I'd quite like to see a woman in one of the films repeatedly and consistently turn Bond down. It gets irritating to see even the ones who hate him end up in his arms at one point or another.

I was kinda hoping that all the fuss about Michelle Yoeh and that movie meant she might break the mould. But no, same old same old.

I agree.

Yep, that would be good to see. Moneypenny keeps turning him down nowadays, but it's not enough. Michelle Yeoh seems to show no interest in him at all until the end. Felt false to me.

At least Michelle Yeoh is the right age group - Denise Richards anybody?

The course of the film was hopeful, meaning that the last capitulation was even more disappointing.
And no innuendo!

I wouldn't have minded quite so much but they had promised a radical overhaul for the sad old git.

Which translated as meaning - 'We got Phillip 'Mad Dog' Kwok to choreograph some fights. Otherwise, same old same old.'