Wilson stared down into his half empty glass, a happy bear might of said it was half full, but Wilson was no happy bear. He picked it up and slugged the remaining liquid down his throat, hardly feeling the fiery taste as it slid over his tongue. Maybe this was how his life was supposed to be, but it didn't feel good, he stared down into the now empty glass, picked it up and thudded it down on the wooden bar in front of him to get the bartender's attention.

'Don't you think you've had enough BB?' The bartender asked with concern.

'Enough?' Wilson shot back incredulously, 'Yeah, I've had enough. Enough of waiting, enough of feeling sorry for myself, enough of missing her...’ he shut up quickly, looking away and then sighing deeply, 'just give me another drink.'

The bartender took the glass, and refilled it with hot honey drink, placing the smoking liquid in front of the bear; he shook his head sadly and turned to walk away.

'It was three years ago today,' the quietness of the voice made the bartender turn back. 'Three years since Wendy walked out on me, three years ago since my life become meaningless.'

Wilson took an unsteady gulp from the glass in front of him, and wiped his paw across his mouth. 'I remember BB, like it was yesterday,' the bartender commiserated.

'I loved her, I really did love her, still do, that's the trouble, she's under my fur like an itch that I can't scratch. Always with me, but beyond my reach, it's like one of those love stories that you see at the flicks, except there won't be a happy ending, she's gone and she's not coming back.' Wilson raised his head to stare at the bartended, his eyes half pleading with the man to make a lie of what he had just said.

'She's gone BB, she's not coming back, the best you can do is move on, in time, you'll forget about her..' the bartended began, his voice becoming almost a sing song as he regurgitated often used words.

'NO!!!! I don't want to forget about her, she's mine, she was bought for me. Oh I remember her sitting so pretty on the shelf in the toy store, a limited edition millennium bear, I should of known she was out of my league, but from that first moment, I knew, I loved her with every fibre in my fur, I loved her with all my heart, I worshipped her, her smile, her eyes, she was perfect.' Wilson took another drink and then continued, 'I guess I made my feelings to plain, a couple of days later she was placed beside me on the bed, she had been bought for me, to be my life long partner, friend, hell maybe even lover. The world suddenly seemed a different colour, all brightness, I was so happy I could hardly speak to her, I just mumbled, and she just looked at
me with those eyes, I was in heaven.'

Wilson brushed a paw against eyes that were suddenly wet, 'Hey is someone smoking in here, damn stuff, always makes me fill up.'

The bartender shrugged, 'I don't think so BB, so what happened next?'

Wilson looked down at the drink he was nursing, 'Everything seemed to be going well, we seemed to have such a lot in common, I was a bear, she was a bear, I loved her, she loved herself as well, she talked about money, and holidays, and expensive presents, all the things I didn't have or couldn't give her. My mind just didn't read the warning signs; they were there, but I was blind, blinded by my love for her, intoxicated far more easily on being near her, than I could on this drink. I decided the only thing I could do was ask her to marry me, so I took her out for a special meal, pampered her, made her feel like a princess, and then I gave her the box.

Her eyes lit up, they sparkled in anticipation of the diamond ring within, and she opened the box, and then just stared at me.

The bartender moved closer, as Wilson's words got softer, 'I tried to explain, that I had no money, but if she took the lump of coal and pressed it between the pages of a really heavy book for a couple of million years, then she would have a diamond fit for a queen. It could be mounted on any ring she chooses, she would look magnificent.'

Wilson stopped speaking, his eyes darting around the bar as if he wanted to run and escape the story, and then he looked up into the bartenders eyes, 'and do you know what she did? She threw the coal at me, her face was screwed up with contempt, and she told me that I was cheap, that I didn't really love her, and that she would find someone who would take care of her in the manner to which she deserved. She stormed off then, I tried to call her back, but she left me sitting there alone, surrounded by the shattered remains of my pledge of love to her.'

An unnatural stillness settled over Wilson, and then he picked up the glass again, swigging down the remaining drink before replacing the empty glass back down on the bar.

'And you haven't seen her since?' The bartender asked.

'Oh yes, I've seen her, she fell in with another toy from the box, Blue Dog, you know the one with the big... er..' Wilson looked away in embarrassment.

'The big what?' The bartender encouraged.

'You know, big nose... They are always together now; I guess she gets what she thinks she needs from him, the things I couldn't give her because they weren't free like my love, my heart, my soul. I can never forget her though; she will be part of me forever.' Wilson got up from the bar stool and threw a couple of Moxons on the bar top. 'I'd better be going, thanks for listening friend.'

The bartender watched the dejected bear walk to the door and leave. He shook his head sadly, 'Love,' he mused, 'can make the weakest of us strong and the strongest of us weak. If I could only bottle it, I'd make a fortune.' He picked up BB's empty glass and contemplated it
for a moment, 'Come to think of it, maybe it wouldn't be worth it after all.'

The End

Wilson Brown-Bear

13.02.03 Front Page

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