Things to do on long haul plane flights

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You know the feeling. You're on a big aeroplane, you've watched all of the inflight movies and any paper games you can think of are getting old fast. Here are some things to make the time fly by1....

1. Turn the banket into a turban and try to look shifty. See how many worried looks you can attract.

2. Use a different accent each time the air hostess talks to you.

3. Pretend to be famous. See if anybody offers you first class seats.

4. Race with a friend from one end of the plane to the other.

5. Roll any unwanted food along the aisle and place bets on what will get to the end first.

6. Invent a soap opera using crew members. Bribe them into acting it out.

7. Assume the brace position and scream 'We're going down!'. See how long it takes for the captain to assure passengers that everything is okay.

8. Start talking in code to the person next to you and try to hand them a package marked 'Top Secret'.

9. Ask a steward if you can go sky diving.

10. Ask a flight attendant if he was in the Village People.

11. Knit. Loudly.

12. Change your outfit in the bathroom. Come back in drag, if possible. See if anybody notices.

13. Demand to see the chef.

14. Start a Jerry Springer show with the other pasengers.

15. Take speakers and start a party.

16. Start a kareokee competition.

17. Each time the person pehind kicks your chair, scream loudly.

18. Make a conga line and see how many people you can get to join in.

19. Take a guitar. Get the whole plane singing 'Kumbayah'.

20. Streak.

Any other suggestions will be gladly received. Thank you, and enjoy your flight.

So long, and Thanks for Laughing

1Excuse the pun.

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