h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't forget about the Police State's insistance that adults over 21 are STILL not mature enough to determine what sorts of liquer they should be drinking, as all such beverages must be purchased in State-run stores, which have mediocore tastes at best. And if you would like to purchase beer? You must either buy your beer by the case at the local Bottle 'N Can, or go into a bar a buy a six pack and pay a bit extra for the privlege of purchasing just a few beers to drink with dinner. Pennsylvanians have heard of course that other U.S. states allow their citizens to buy small quantities of beer right at the grocery or convience store, but we're sure its just a wild rumor. The authorities have shown us that in order to drink, we have to be SERIOUS about it -- so serious we have to go to a beer store and buy 24 bottles of whatever beer we want to drink.

Oh the agreement flows from my fingers. I was in Maine just about a month ago, and they allow allow liquor to be sold in (dramatic pause) convenience stores. Now that is progress.

The worst part about Pennsylvania that although we are taxed we never seem to have any benefit from it. Our schools are under funded, our roads are under-maintenanced. Heck they don't even pay for salt for the roads in the winter. I have an inch long scar on my left thumb from when I slipped on an icy road and fell on a piece of gravel spread out in a futile attempt to de-ice the roads.

In general New York is a much nicer place to live. I don't particularly like facist dictatorships.

Ah, but we've got such wonderfully historic things in this great commonwealth. Just think of all the johnny-come-lately states, carved up into so many right angles out west. Their plight? They actually have to travel hundreds of miles to get a glimpse of revolutionary & civil war battlefields and sites of serious colonial history. They even consider poking about in log cabins and having their photos taken while sitting on long-defunct cannons FUN, while we of course know better, having been dragged along to these places on every field trip when we were ages 6-18. Then in our adult years, we get the opportunity to take turns escorting all our out of state friends to see a big bell with a crack in it one more time . . .