h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Happy to invite you down here anytime Egon, although i notice England actually won a game the other day. True, the other team didn't have any Australians in it, but beggars can't be choosers

I'm very confused. i'm sure I subscribed to this entry, but having just gone through asll my entries to check convos, I find this!

Now, 4 weeks ago. Hm,m. I'kll assume you were referring to our beating the Sri Lankans before christmas. That was quite enjoyable.

To be honest, It's starting to p**s me off how good you aussies are at sport in general- I mean you swept the commonwealth games, there's cricket, both codes of rugby, I'm telling you if your boys beat us in the soccer next month I might consider taking up your offer!

Not much chance of that i wouldn't have thought, but i'll get the spare room ready just in case

Actually i think we might be on a bit of a decline in cricket and rugby, only time will tell i suppose.

my column has reflected that despite only having the vaguest interest bin rugby, England got some decent results against (i believe) your lot, plus the all blackls and the south africans, so there you go.

Oh, and it should never be forgotten that when the Aussies decided to invent a sport for themeselves, they developed the brutally chaotic and strangely addictive aussie rules. Is anyone outside your country actually mad enough to commit suicide by taking part in a game? I seem to remember one guy who had his finger amputated because of the injuries sustained in a game, and he responded with "ah, that's gonna put me out for a couple opf weeks"!

I think the only way a crixcket decline will come is if, when McGrath and Warne retire, there is no-one to replace them. The batting seems in good order- I saw Mike Hussey playing for Northants against Worcestershire last year and thought "if this guy came from any other country in the world he'd have at least 50 caps by now!"

England have probably had the best pack in rugby for years now. There backs however are another matter entirely (apart from Wilkinson who is a genius). Having said that, they are all just about on their last legs so it is probably now or never as far as the world cup goes and they don't seem to have the same amount of success against southern hemisphere teams away from home.

I'm not a great fan of Aussie rules, being a Sydneysider.

Hussey must be fairly close to selection now, especially after Lehmans comments the other day.

The game I saw Hussey playing in, I arrived on the second day about 5.00 he was about 14 not out. By tea on the third day, he had reached about 150- imperious batting that must surely earn him a place in the side. he was pretty good for Australia A against us as well. Does he play as well for his state, or does he just save it for English bowling?

He has been consistently good for a fair while now.

He would have gone close to getting a call up the other day, but they opted for Michael Clarke instead.

Is there a guy called Stuart Clark playing cricket in australia?

It's just that I'm sure it was someone with a name like that who was registered as our (our in this case being Worcestershire) overseas player at the very beginning of last season, as Andy Bichel was going to be on international duty, but just after he arrived, the aussies cancelled their tour and Bichel turned up, so the fella never played.

Ooh, just seen the start we've made in the first final- 102-7 in the 35th over- ouch!

117 all out. Absolutely bloody pathetic, with the honourable exception of Paul Collingwood (who I've seen play for Durham a couple of times- damn fine player, you know).

I have a tactic for the world cup- you can only replace players because of injury, right? So, I'm going to get a flight to Australia after my exam later, stay with you for the night, then fly to wherever the next match is taking place, kneecap Ronnie Irani (do you have a crowbar I acn borrow? They probably won't let me take mine through customs) and write a ransom letter to the ECB, declaring that I am going to kidnap the rest of the squad, until they give in to my demands to replace Irani with Adam Hollioake.

You think it'll work?

I'm pretty sure Stuart Clarke plays for Western Australia and is doing pretty well.

Irani certainly hasn't set the world on fire. As for Hollioake, I'm no fan of anyone who grows up Australian and then goes elsewhere because he's not good enough for our team

Clijsters blew it didn't she . She is, of course, an honorary Aussie these days.

Yeah, I was actually rooting for Henin, then she went out, then Kim went and I haven't got round to changing it yet.

In Ronnie Irani's last fifteen games for England, he's had one decent game and fourteen crap ones.

Peter Roebuck had an interesting article in the paper over the weekend about an England under 19 team coming over here, all of them couunty players on big money, sponsorship, the whole catastrophy and playing against a team containing only one player in a state squad and all getting paid $30 a day.

Guess who won?

Let me guess- Aussie amateurs?

correct. I think his basic thrust was that there are too many ordinary cricketers making good money playing for the county teams over there but with no chance of succeeding at the next level.

True enough.

I presume the naming of the Aussie soccer (sorry, football) team hasn't caused too many nights lost sleep for people over there

well, they only seem to have named about 18 players, and the only ones who are really any good are the ones who play for Leeds (Viduka/Kewell/Okon) or Middlesbrough (Schwarzer, did they name Vidmar?), which doesn't give them much cover if any get injured.

So to be perfectly honest, if that motley crew beat us, I'm emigrating. We surely have to stay better than you in at least one sport!

there are a few playing in the Serie A in Italy and various other European competitions that you mightn't know about, but i don't think anyone here is expecting to win

Does Ned Zelic play in Serie A? I know Okon used to. i read in the paper there are about 10 British based players (the LEeds guys, Boro guys, Craig Moore of Rangers, er, Stan Lazaridis perhaps)