h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Connecticut USA - A8842971
Author: shagbark - U170775

A general overview on Connecticut and companion piece to toosmartforbond2's New Haven article.

Wondering how long before Gnomen shows up

I believe the New Haven article is A4137860

since gnomen is silent maybe some other scout has some ideas about this article.

I'm not a scout, but I've had a very quick scan and it looks good. I will try to get you some more detailed comments later.

I thought we already had an entry on Connecticut, but I did a search and we don't seem to.

Gnomon's away for the weekend, and since it's about the US anyway:

*Waits for Jodan to show up*

Here we go then:

"> with additional information by toosmartforbond2"

You will need to remove this. There is a way of adding credit like this, but I can't remember it right now. I'll look it up.

"Located between New York and Rhode Island and South of Massachusetts on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States Connecticut is home to 3,405,565 people1 roughly 125,000 of which live in the capitol city of Hartford."

Firstly, I'm not sure whether South and Eastern Seaboard should be capitalised. Secondly, can you put "nearly three and a half million people" instead? It's easier to read.

"capitol" -> "capital"

Also, I would suggest adding commas as shown?:

"Located between the states of New York and Rhode Island, and south of Massachusetts on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States, Connecticut is home to 3,405,565 people1, roughly 125,000 of which live in the capital city of Hartford."

"an Algonquian word" - can you explain who the Algonquian were, please?

"on the long tidal river". needs to be in single quotes as per house style.

""Constitution state"" -> "Constitution State"

"It was also delegates from Connecticut who in 1787 offered the plan of how many representatives each state would have in the new congress thus profoundly affecting the US Constitution."

->

"It was also delegates from Connecticut who, in 1787, devised the number of representatives each state would have in the new congress, thus profoundly affecting the US Constitution."


"the nutmeg state" -> "'the Nutmeg State'"

"Yet two more nicknames" - can;t you just put all the nicknames under one header?

"The Provisions State-During..." put a space on either side of the hyphen.

"The Land of Steady Habits-referring..." Ditto.

"Area=5544 sq.mi of which 4845 is land.
highest point 2380 ft.
Coastline= 185 miles
State Bird: Robin
State flower:Mountain Laurel
Song: Yankee Doodle"

I would suggest reformatting this as so:

"

Area: 5,544 sq. miles (though only 4,445 of this is land)
Highest point: 2,380 ft
Length of coastline: 185 miles
State bird: Robin
State flower: Mountain Laurel
State song: Yankee Doodle

"

Problems though:

1) If only part of that area is land, presumably the rest is sea. So should it be counted?
2) It would be nice if you could say where the highest point is.
3) Isn't the song called "Yankee Doodle Dandy"?


"If you are going to Connecticut you might want to see the oldest public art museum in the US. The Wadsworth Atheneum is located in Hartford."

->


"If you are going to Connecticut you might want to see the oldest public art museum in the US, the Wadsworth Atheneum, which is located in Hartford."

Can you say a bt more about Yale University? Ivy League and all that. Why have you mentioned the UConn Huskies? Are they especially famous?


"connecticut are the Casinos." -> "Connecticut are the casinos."

"A high class facility it also houses a hotel and museum."

->

"A high class facility, it also houses a hotel and museum."

"second casino Mohegan Sun is also a stadium and home to the WNBA Connecticut Sun."

->

"second casino, Mohegan Sun, is also a stadium and home to the WNBA team Connecticut Sun." Can you also use a footnote to explain what the WNBA is.

""Fundamental Orders"" - single quotes please.

"Charles II granted a Royal Charter." -> "King Charles II of Great Britain America was still a British colony at this time....." or somesuch. Any idea what the Charter was for?

"Agents from James II later tried to seize it" Can you call him King James II please? Why did they try to seize it?

Does th oak tree still stand?

and it was hidden in an old oak tree in Hartford. Ever since this tree has been known as the Charter Oak.

During the Revolutionary War the British burned the port of Norwalk.

In 1810 the state gave its first charter to an insurance company. One historian said

"The Uniqueness" no capital unless there's one in the original quote.

"U.S.Civil War Connecticut" ->"US Civil War, Conneticut..."

"british" -> "British"

"WWI" -> "World War One"

the Alien Act of 1918 - what did this act say?

"the average summer temperature is 75 F (24 C)."

->

"The average summer temperature is 75 F (24 C)."



Can you give us a line or so explaining what the "notable Citizens" are famous for?

"honor" -> "honour"

"generally ignored in twenty-first century America were once a model for behavior across the United States."

->

"generally ignored in twenty-first century America, were once a model for behaviour across the United States." (Note spelling of behaviour)

"Sabbath Regulation: dealing with laws about commerce on Sunday
Family Regulation: dealing with laws about marriage and child rearing
Sumptuary Laws: dealing with laws about food, clothing, and social station
Public Behavior: laws dealing with how to behave in public"

Can you put these in a list as shown above?

"yachtmans" -> "yachtsman's"

"CT" -> "Connecticut"

Good job! I dare say there are a few other niggles, but sort these out first and we'll get to them. It is a good entry, well done!

You can add toosmartforbond by adding the following between the and tags at the bottom of the Entry;


toosmartforbond

It won't show up until the Entry is Edited though.

MJ

MJ!

I'll work on more of this later. The first two paragraphs are changed. As to the statistics these came from the official government website and Yankee Doodle is the official title not Yasnkee Doodle Dandy. It is standard practice to include square miles within a states legal boundaries -thus Long Island Sound is split between NY and CT with a boat on the NW side a mile off shore still being in Connecticut and this area being tallied as part of the state.

You will note I have enacted a few more of the changes. I gave the British Monarchs their titles. I presume that the charter was so that in the eyes of the crown Connecticut would be considered a separate colony and not under the jurisdiction of say Massachusetts.
I have no Idea why King James II would object to this or why he couldn't just make a royal proclamation revoking the charter.
If anyone can shed light on this please do so.

Hi shagbark

..and is home to three and a half million people roughly 125,000 of which live in the capital city of Hartford.
When I am talking about people I prefer to use the term "whom" rather than "which"
=
..and is home to three and a half million people roughly 125,000 of whom (or "them" if you prefer) live in the capital city of Hartford.



..having done so on 9 Jan. 1788.
House-style for dates is:
9 January, 1788



Footnote 2 needs to be moved right up next to the word it connects to.



"It was also delegates from Connecticut" the word "was" needs deleting there (I think)



Also attracting a lot of people in connecticut are the Casinos
=
casinos


..the first white men arrived in the early sixteen hundred's
=
the first white men arrived in the early 1600s (House-style)


They made treaties and wrote a document entitled the "Fundamental Orders" in 1639
You shouldn't use double-quotes, single quotes is house-style



Footnote 7 is after the punctuation, it needs to be before the full-stop.



There is an edited entry on Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain A195662 which you should link to



Dr. Robt. K. Jarvik-created first working artificial heart
=
Don't use the punctuation (house-style again)
Dr Robert K Jarvik - created first working artificial heart

and the list would look better if you would put a space before the dash and after the dash as I have done.



The legend goes that banker and yachtsman E.C. Benedict
=
EC Benedict



Your footnotes: Treat them as sentences in their own right. Start them with a capital letter and use punctuation at the end.

Footnote 5 "This tree fell in 18xx and has since been replaced by a descendant" if you don't know the exact date the tree fell I suggest you replace this sentence with:
This tree fell in the 19th century and has since been replaced by a descendant.

That's it for now, let me know when you've seen to these and I'll pop back

Great entry shagbark

entry changes made

Excellent
I'll read it through tomorrow afternoon. RL calls in the am.

I think though that I am going to add a new sub category: Religion and Education.

On second thought I made it higher Education. I also checked the Punctuation again. did I get it all.

While this article and the New Haven-West Haven article are both aming for the EG It might seem a bit presumptuous to link to each others article beforehand. So I have removed the link to the other article and put in footnote 7 where I commend readers to it .

Oh most benevelent scouts-look kindly on my submissin

shagbark looks high,shagbark looks low. Wonders if we are done with peer review.