h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

May I suggest you lay in a stock of duct tape?
Wha'?!?Why are you all looking at me like that?!?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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lol come back s

I second the duct tape


()

Being a Brit I recommend gaffer tape.

...*tip-toes back in...*Geez, I thought you'd all be mad or sumthin'.
Thais ain't some kinda' trap or sumthin', is it?
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...*dons her fertility costume...dances around the fire...*

From an early age, instil in your shile an understanding of the word 'no'... As he or she becomes a two-ish year old they will benefit greatly from this. My neice and nephew do not have much truck with the negative when there's stuff they want to do/ eat/ say/ etc.

I am reminded of Thomas (nephew) last week. I was helping his mum wrap some of the s she had bought him for Christmas... He seemed very interested in what we were doing, and after having made off with one of the rolls of wrapping paper to attack Uncle Mark with (a la lightsabre) he subsequently became bored and pottered back to investigate what his mum and I were doing. We had quite a nice little pile of things wrapped by this point, and Thomas seemed intrigued as to what these brightly coloured packages were. So he tried to sidle off with one to explore it further. Now Thomas doesn't argue with me for some reason. His mother can argue until they are both blue inthe face and the result will merely be a tantrum on behalf of Thomas. However, with me he is quite well behaved, and we haven't quite figured out why. So as he was investigating, his mum said to go play with his toys, and he merely directed his attention to the other smaller pile of giss we had wrapped. after a few seconds I told him t stop, that he wasn't allowed to look at the sparkly things and that he was to go play with Uncle Mark. He thought for a moment, then potterd off quite merrily, we thought to go play in the living room with Mark. But no. thirty seconds later he comes back dragging Uncle Mark (who looks quite perplexed at this point) and calmly points out the presents, and hands him one to look at. That child is far too intelligent.

Don't get a thinker. They're scarily funny. Jess (Thomas' mum), Mark and I were in hysterics for ages, and Thomas had no idea why

Ah well. Thought I'd share that one, I have a few more amusing ones about Thomas and Amber to tell, but I have to go get ready for work, so I shal bid you all adieu

...which reminds me of when my sister's son Aaron was tiny...
he was given a kitten...I asked if it was a boy or a girl kitty?
Aaron said, "I dono...jusss turn it over an' look at the bottom of it's feet...thasss what mommy does."

"instil in your shile an understanding of the word 'no'... As he or she becomes a two-ish year old they will benefit greatly from this. "

Doubtless as in:
"Jenny, go and clean your room."
"NO!"

...let's not leave off teaching the child to say, "It wasn't my fault and incase it was...it was an accident."

:-p

It was like that when I got here.

...there's the stuff what holds children together!