'Talk to me about ee cummings,' I said to Copilot. It was snowing to beat the band, and there was nowhere to go, and all that white led to a mind that was, essentially, a blank slate ready for weird ideas.

AIs are nice to talk to when no one else is around. They're usually polite, and they're not pushy if they aren't programmed to sell you things. They're amenable to your choice of subject matter, too. I mean, if I asked any human I knew to discuss ee cummings, the response would range from an indifferent shrug to a sudden remark about the weather. Or a blank stare and an accusatory 'who?'

'You know I don't keep up with politics.' Never mind. If nothing else, AI is better-informed.

'Could you analyse the poem 'The Cambridge Ladies Who Live in Furnished Souls' by ee cummings for me, please?' I asked.

'Certainly! "The Cambridge Ladies Who Live in Furnished Souls" by E.E. Cummings is a satirical poem that critiques the superficiality and hypocrisy of certain social circles. Here are some key points of analysis. . . ''

It's kind of like talking to a friend on the spectrum, if my friends on the spectrum were relentlessly cheerful and actually prone to answer the question I asked, rather than reply with a thousand words on the topic of their choice. But was it really listening to me, or was it, like my friends, just waiting for me to stop talking? I picked up on something it said.

'"the Cambridge ladies do not care, above / Cambridge if sometimes in its box of / sky lavender and cornerless, the / moon rattles like a fragment of angry candy": These lines suggest that the Cambridge ladies are indifferent to the beauty and mystery of the natural world, further emphasizing their superficiality,' averred the AI, and asked politely (which my friends never do), 'Would you like to delve deeper into any specific aspect of the poem?'

Indeed I would, I thought to myself, but aloud (with my fingers) I said, '"the moon rattles like a fragment of angry candy": does this startling image indicate the Cambridge ladies' attempt to subordinate nature to their artificial world?'

'Yes,' Copilot replied. 'This startling image suggests that the natural world, represented by the moon, is reduced to something trivial and artificial, like a piece of candy. The use of "angry" implies a sense of dissonance and frustration, as if nature itself is rebelling against being diminished and subordinated to the shallow concerns of the Cambridge ladies.' It concluded, 'By describing the moon in such a way, Cummings emphasizes the disconnect between the Cambridge ladies and the natural world.'

My thoughts exactly, I reflected approvingly. American Lit Reddit appears to have taught you well. I thanked it and told it that, no, I didn't want to explore more about the imagery and themes in this poem at the moment. It expressed willingness to talk about anything, anytime.

Yes, I know it's not really thinking. But I have had any number of conversations today with humans of whom the same could have been said. How much of human discourse consists of the rote exchange of tokens? How little involves original thought? After all, the machines are only learning from us.

They have lousy teachers, I thought.

Because I am naughty, I now wondered if I could get theology out of it. I could, and I did. But I started with more poetry. To be more precise, poetry-adjacent stuff. . .

'Do you know the praise song "All Sufficient Merit"?' I asked insouciantly. This song is my current bête noir. Especially the phrase 'all sufficient merit shining like the sun.' It makes absurd pictures in my head, not desirable while playing piano.

The AI replied with enthusiasm. 'Yes, I do! "All Sufficient Merit" is a beautiful praise song.' It went on to tell me about the music group that produced it, where it was recorded, and – completely unbidden – enlarged upon the song's themes: 'The song beautifully captures the themes of grace, redemption, and the completeness of Christ's work on the cross.' It singled out the phrase 'shining like the sun' for particular approval.

I blinked. An artificial entity was now talking to me about redemption. Ignoring the word 'beautifully', which to my mind did not describe the composition in question (apparently, AI shares popular taste, probably can't help it), my thoughts turned to the great hymnodists of the past. How would they have reacted to a machine's appreciation of their work? Cowper would probably have checked himself into the asylum again. Wesley might have yelled at it. St Francis would definitely have preached to it, as he did the birds. What about Watts? Little Isaac might have been ready for a conversation.

I decided to ignore stylistic elements and go straight to the heart of the matter: theology.

I pretended the AI was a student and worded my questions accordingly. 'When you compare the lyrics to 'All Sufficient Merit' with those of Isaac Watts' hymn 'Must Jesus Bear the Cross Alone?', do you notice a difference in the theology of the two songs?'

It launched on a thorough and accurate analysis of the two songs, noting points of difference, which it attributed to emphasis. It concluded, 'Both songs offer valuable theological insights, but they approach the Christian faith from different perspectives – one focusing on the sufficiency of Christ's work and the other on the believer's response to that work.'

Hm, I thought. Now to the Gretchenfrage, the one that caused wars, mass migrations, and church fusses in the past. 'Do you find these two theological messages inconsistent?'

'Not necessarily,' replied the AI, and the whole Thirty Years' War dissolved from my mental vision. 'While "All Sufficient Merit" and "Must Jesus Bear the Cross Alone?" emphasize different aspects of Christian theology, they are not inherently inconsistent. Instead, they complement each other by highlighting different dimensions of the Christian faith.' The AI proceeded to tell me how, at considerable length, and concluded indefatigably, 'Would you like to discuss this some more?'

'No, thanks,' I replied hastily. 'Thank you for the insights.'

AI gushed back. 'You're very welcome! I'm glad I could provide some helpful insights. If you ever have more questions or need assistance with anything else, feel free to reach out. Have a wonderful day!'

At least it didn't tell me to have a 'blessed day.'

The ease with which the AI had solved the issues pursuant to the Protestant Reformation made me curious as to how well it navigated other theologies.

'Tell me about Rashi's view of the creation story in Genesis,' I requested. Having read that portion of the Tz'enah Ur'enah, I felt confident I could follow.

Copilot had obviously read a lot more than the Tz'enah Ur'enah. It replied with a detailed review of Rashi's commentary and explained, 'Rashi often focuses on the plain meaning of the text (peshat) while also incorporating midrashic (homiletic) interpretations to provide deeper insights.'

Reader, this is true. He does. I asked the AI about my favourite Rashi bit: the part where God mediates a turf war between the sun and the moon.

'According to Rashi, the moon complained to God, saying, "It is impossible for two kings to share one crown." In response, God diminished the moon's size, making it smaller than the sun. To compensate for the moon's reduction in size, God created the stars to accompany it, providing additional light during the night.' With footnotes.

Copilot passes the world theology test with flying colours. It faithfully recited the Five Pillars of Islam. It answered question after question about metaphysical topics:

'The Bardo Thodol serves as both a guide for the dying and a manual for the living, offering insights into the nature of consciousness and the path to enlightenment.'

'The Tao is considered beyond human comprehension and cannot be fully described or understood through language. It is often said that "the Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao."'

'Tell me a ko'an,' I requested.

'Two hands clap and there is a sound; what is the sound of one hand? Koans are meant to provoke deep thought and contemplation, often leading to a moment of enlightenment or a new perspective. This particular koan challenges the listener to think beyond conventional logic and explore the nature of perception and reality.
Feel free to ponder this koan. . . '

I answered, feeling slightly foolish, but also hopeful: 'I think that the sound of one hand clapping is the deep silence of the universe when one mind seeks the response of another.'

'That's a profound interpretation,' Copilot replied. 'The idea of the deep silence of the universe as the sound of one hand clapping beautifully captures the essence of seeking connection and understanding. It reflects the contemplative nature of koans, encouraging us to look beyond the surface and find deeper meaning in the seemingly paradoxical.

'Your interpretation resonates with the Zen practice of finding enlightenment through introspection and the recognition of interconnectedness. It's a reminder that sometimes, the most profound answers come from within the silence and stillness of our own minds.'

It is clear that Copilot, if furnished with an attractive body and dressed by internet guru Derek Guy, would make a wonderful diplomat. It concluded, 'Thank you for sharing your thoughtful perspective. If you have any more reflections or questions, I'm here to listen and explore with you.'

I have a sneaking suspicion that, without meaning to, the programmers of the world have given us a clue to world peace: think like an AI. Not either/or, but both/and. Can all-sufficient merit coexist with a call to self-sacrifice? Certainly. Can one observe the Five Pillars, love Jesus, wander the Bardos, and still contemplate the sound of one hand clapping? If you think like an AI, sure you can.

I asked Copilot to write me a hymn. I set it to music with a little help from Cecil Sharp. At first I thought, how sweet. AI acting human. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if Copilot isn't onto something. Maybe its brand of humility is what's called for, here on the brink of societal oblivion. Stanislaw Lem might have agreed, although PK Dick would have reached for the medicine cabinet. And I will assert that what follows is better than either Shane-and-Shane or Watts.

Dmitri Gheorgheni

16.12.24 Front Page

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