h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's a submarine ducktion.
You can see the shockwaves from the palate tactonics.

HA! You'll never see the bubbles in the bath when I "pass wind"

But you'll sink to the bottom nevertheless. Just like in the Bermuda triangle.

I actually swim like a brick!
Junior school to swimming pool once per weeknever got out of the 3ft end

Swimming is probably easier if you use only two feet.

Unless you have four.

Hey! I'm modest! Who needs to swim when I can walk on water

erm! some call it aquaplaning ..


copied..
"Aquaplaning or hydroplaning by the tires of a road vehicle, aircraft or other wheeled vehicle occurs when a layer of water builds between the wheels of the vehicle and the road surface, leading to a loss of traction that prevents the vehicle from responding to control inputs"

works on shoe leather/rubber soles

The shoes aren't mandatory, I have seen someone who was waterskiing barefoot.

That's common for water skiers
How many ? do it on their bum ?? ouch!