Terrible Jokes from 1873, Suitable for Weaponising
Editor's Note: We stole this from Frank Leslie's Comic Almanac for 1873. These jokes are so bad they can be used as deadly weapons. Thank us later.
One person asked another if he believed in the appearance of spirits. 'No,' was the reply, 'but I believe in their disappearance, for I've missed a bottle of gin since last night.'
A phrenologist told a man that he had combativeness very largely developed, and was of a quarrelsome disposition. ' That isn't so,' said the man, angrily, 'and if you repeat it I'll knock you down.'
What is the greatest feat in the eating way ever known of? That recorded of a man who commenced by bolting a door, after which he threw up a window, and then sat down and swallowed a whole story!
'Anna, dear, if I could attempt to spell Cupid, why could I not get beyond the first syllable?' Anna gave it up, whereupon William said, 'Because when I come to C u, of course I cannot go any further.'
The father of Dorabella recently found that little girl's hand full of blossoms of a beautiful tea-rose on which he had bestowed great care. ' My dear,' he said, 'didn't I tell you not to pick one of those flowers without leave?' 'Yes, papa,' said she, 'but all these had leaves.'
When the late King of Saxony didn't come into supper promptly in the days of his youth, his father would go to the back door and would cry sharply to bis son and heir, 'You, John-Nepomue-Maria-Joseph-Anthony-Xavier-Vincent-de-Paul-Stanisla-us-Bemard-Paul-Felix-Damans, come in out of that.'
Tired of seeing bad jokes from 1873 in the h2g2 Post? Send us YOUR bad jokes from 2020.