h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(I know I will regret having done this, but...)

'Ssh!' whispered Bitspflk. 'Don't wake the Aggragorn!'

'Teehee,' giggled Eeyahwn. 'This is going to be our best prank yet! Too bad April Fools' Day was last week!'

Bitspflk shrugged, which was an interesting thing to do, since he was still crawling on all fours. 'It doesn't matter. The humans cancelled it, for some reason. Anyway, this one's going to be epic!'

Eeyahwn came closer to the sleeping Aggragorn, whose melodious snoring could be heard far and wide throughout the Whispering Valley. In fact, the Whispering Valley forgot to whisper, and become, temporarily, the Holding-Its-Breath Valley. The long-tailed lemuraggio watched with curiosity as it clung precariously to a swaying branch of the plumbbob tree, which shuddered with every stentorian aggragornian snore.

The two creeping lymphlids reached the seismically sleeping giant. They grinned.

'Now!' whispered Bitspflk, and Eeyahwn hastily cast the bucketful of sparkling dayglo instafaerieosum over the Aggragorn. The two leapt nimbly into the nearby bushes and waited...

The transformation was worth waiting for. The Aggragorn gradually turned a variety of colours - indeed, all the colours of the hyper-rainbow in succession: apple, bloodfruit, trafficcone, basketball, hotdogmustard, lemon lollipop, smileyface, springgrass, summergrass, smokinggrass, alice, sky, prussian, microsoft, navy, levi, 501, conceited, and octarine. And back again, and front again, and...

The Aggragorn woke. 'What is this?' he cried. 'I'm tingling all over!'

He held out his hands. 'I've been transmogrified! Estellarated! I'm...I'm...splendiferous!!! I have to go and see!' And he ran towards the stream to admire his new coloration in his reflection. As he ran, the ground beneath him shook and pounded. You could have used his footsteps for a backbeat in your rock song.

The lemuraggio almost feel out of the plumbbob tree with laughing - it caught itself just in time, and hung by its tail, barking with glee.

Meanwhile, Bitspflk and Eeyahwn calmly removed their mobile phone from the place where the Aggragorn had been sitting on it.

Bitspflk sighed. 'The battery's dead. But the good news is, the case isn't even cracked! A+ for the manufacturer!' And they went away, rejoicing, while the Whispering Valley whispered 'teeheeheeheeheee....'

Just because he's Rip Van Winkle.

Did! You really have to plant those 3 acorns all those years ago ?

Well Dmitri you did excellently here! Sorry for only coming in to read your contribution now … been a bit preoccupied the past week.

Oh and prof thanks to yours also!

no thanks needed dear friend

I'll "shove" humour in where ever I see a gap

Willem! Please take the greatest care ok, re: the ongoing pandemic