h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a splendid Christmas cactus.

I've got a couple but they are not flowering with anything like this enthusiasm.

Mrs Hoggett told her when they do this, they need a bigger pot. So she's re-potting when they finish blooming.

That is one gorgeous Christmas cactus.

My mother loved them dearly. She even made cuttings and potted them to produce more plants.

I've got two epiphyllums. Most of the time, they consist of drooping leaves which look, in some places, as if they are going to start walking across the floor. Just once a year, they flower, becoming covered with spectacular red blooms.

The red ones seem to be orchid cacti. Is that what these epiphyllums are?

Are they anything like this?
http://www.logees.com/red-orchid-cactus-epiphyllum-ackermannii.html

Yes, that looks right.

Absolutely beautiful, but I don't dare try to grow any plants indoors -- except for wildflower seedlings on my windowsill -- which would be moved outside when it warms up enough.

I kill houseplants! Either I overwater them, or I let them dry out. No happy medium. Outdoor plants let the unused water seep down into the soil, or through holes in the bottom of the flowerpots.

I've killed philodendrons and bonsais. There's a prickly pear cactus species native to my area. *That* i could grow outdoors. Mother Nature wouild water it.

Okay, I'm not good with house plants, but even I couldn't kill a philodendron.

If I were trying to grow one now, I might manage, as long as excess water drained away all right. I can water a little bit every day. What I can't seem to do is figure out what to do with xeriscape plants that need water irregularly. Cacti come to mind. They may need a little bit of water occasionally, but I have no clue how much or when .

The longest I kept anything alive indoors was a couple of dahlias that I raised from seed and never got around to planting outdoors the first year. I kept watering them through the next Winter, planted them in large planters outside the following Spring, and they produced some beautiful blooms.