h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How ancient was your history teacher anyway, Dmitri?

I'm pretty sure I would not like to be transported back to the Middle Ages as a certain Mark Twain protagonist was. Imagine believing that you could be cured of disease by ingesting moss from the skull of a hanged man. But it might have been fascinating to attend the trial at which a swarm of bees was defended by a lawyer (he lost the case for them, and I hope he wasn't counting on being paid in honey).

I would cut Aristotle some slack. Not much, just a little. At least he had a few more marbles than Pangloss (who was fictional, though not by much).

The Earth is sort of round, but that doesn't mean it will always be that way. If a largish planet rams into it, it may end up in more than one piece.

Anyway, there are some matters on which I have no opinions. Some of my friends go crazy when they find out about this. What difference does it make to the Planet anyway? I can't always sway other people even when I *do* have opinions (which leaves me exhausted, I'll have you know).

My ancient history teacher was pretty ancient, Paul. I've written about him before: A43148243

"Use what is at hand" is a wonderful life lesson.

As for not starving in Pittsburgh as a hunter gatherer, I think that you should have cut yourself some slack. Before the new housing developments were built, before the white settlers arrived, here are some edible things that would probably have grown in the forests and clearings around Pittsburgh:

Indian turnips [Jack-in-the-pulpit]. The Iroquois used them as food, and also as medicine, as they could treat intestinal parasites. The roots are poisonous when raw, but edible when boiled

Acorns. These are somewhat bitter, but if you soak them in water for twenty-four hours, throw away the water and soak them in *new* water, eventually the tannins are leached out, and you can eat them.

Solomon's seal. The new shoots can be eaten raw or cooked, like asparagus. The roots can be boiled and served like potatoes. Or used medicinally

Milkweed, though poisonous raw, is edible if boiled long enough. Asclepias, the scientific term, is taken from Asclepius, the Greek god of medicine. The milky sap can treat ringworm and some other skin conditions. Extracts from the roots are good for respiratory disorders.

If you're good at identiofying plants by their leaves or blossoms, you would have it made if you came upon a clump of jerusalem Artichoke or its close cousin Pale Leaf Sunflower.

I'm only scratching the surface here. There are *many* other edible native plants in your area, or at least there would be if those pesky settlers had not destroyed those valuable forests.

IHOP, Dennys? Haven't they been there since the middle ages?

At least, FWR.

Ah, that's why our Biology teacher made us run around with that leaf identification book.

Right now, we're just glad there are no oak trees near here. It is the season of the 17-year locusts, and if I see them, I will go catatonic. As a teenager, I got stuck one weekend at a 'youth retreat' in the middle of a forest with legions of the horrible beasts. After a day of their whirring, I passed out and had vertigo that lasted for four days, until the doctor found some medication that worked. I think they set up sympathetic vibrations in my inner ear, or something.

Have you read 'Overstory' by Richard Powers, Paulh?

It's a brilliant book, polemical about the importance of trees and forests. It tells the stories of a group of people whose lives are bound up with trees. Some try to stop loggers felling giant Redwoods.

Dmitri, oaks are among 70 or 80 plant species that cicadas lay their eggs in. Apple, hickory, peach, and grape are also favored. Beeches, maples, dogwoods, arborvitae, even Black-eyed Susans can be affected. We had the little pests, even though most of our trees were maples.

You are not necessarily safe form them, Dmitri. .



Also holly, lilacs, magnolias, rhododendrons, raspberries, Roses
Rose of Sharon, Spirea, Viburnum, and willow.


Put your doctor on retainer until this is over.

It might depend on which number cicada infestation it is. This is Brood VIII. Farmers around here say they favour oak stands. I don't know, but there are people who have arranged to work from home and order all their food delivered until they go away.

The local news people have been dispensing advice:

http://www.post-gazette.com/life/garden/2019/05/03/Periodical-cicadas-PA-17-year-tree-damage-floating-row-covers/stories/201905030006

I remember the infestation of 1968. The trees were buzzing; the noise was intense. Again, we had a lot of maples, some locust trees, and the occasional apple or oak or nut tree. Not the cicadas' favorite food sources, and yet they were abundant. They will apparently work with whatever food they can find.

We have a very large number of oaks in my area -- at least five large ones within 200 feet of me, and one every thirty feet for miles along both sides of VFW Parkway. If the cicadas were supposed to start their chattering in late May, why have I not heard any?

I'm just curious.

Probably because Brood VIII of the 17-year variety have their range in eastern Ohio, western Pennsylvania, and the northern panhandle of West Virginia.

Looking into it a bit, I found that Massachusetts only has Brood XIV, which is confined to pockets along the southeastern coast of Massachusetts.
http://www.southcoasttoday.com/article/20080524/NEWS/805240330

They return in 2025. But probably not in Boston.

Maybe the ones I remember were 12-year cicadas.

I'm not jealous of you, Dmitri. Honest.

Yeah, there are different broods and different species. These things are like something out of Revelation. They're harmless, and the birds eat them. But you try sleeping under a tin roof covered with them, wings all whirring.

Is it less distressing if the roof is not made of tin?

Have you ever slept under a tin roof? If it's raining, you can't hear yourself think. The bugs set up a din, as well.

Some mobile homes are made of aluminum, including the roof. I imagine that must make a similar racket when things hit it. Heck, the round thing that sits on top of my smokestack to keep rain out makes a noise when it rains hard enough. Imagine how noisy it would be if the whole roof were made of that material.

Do you still have a tin roof, Dmitri?

No. But I was a kid in the South. And I had country relatives.

Surely Airstream sells lots of tin/aluminum trailers in the South
http://www.airstream.com/travel-trailers/


(I remember seeing one or two of them here in Boston)

I don't think I ever saw an airstream trailer. Just on TV.