'Look Dave, I've taken you on because I owe your dad, Big Louie, a favour, so don't let me down.'
The following week trouble started. 'When I said give Jimmy Johnson both barrels, I meant of the beer he'd ordered.'
Christmas week was bad, too. 'When I told you to deck the halls, I meant decorate the pub, not beat the crap out of Phil and Jane Hall.'
'What have I told you about smoking fish, Dave? Not while at work, now stub it out and do what I pay you for.'
The final straw...
'This is the last time I'll ask you to babysit, you're fired! Now get off Sidney, you've squashed him flat.'