h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The obvious question is how does he go to the loo?

I don't know when this armour dates from. When I wrote my EG entry 'Simon de Montfort, the Battle of Lewes and the English Constitution" (A87904010), I found that, at that time (1264), armour was mainly chain mail. Plate was only just coming in. So this must be later - 15th century perhaps?

Middle Ages that's 5th to the 15th century if that is right its probably late middle.

This image appears to have a little artistic licence about it with some odd features.
The boots indicate light cavalry the spurs would be not be use on a heavy horse, they would have had bog spiked wheels. The thigh armour goes up under a mail skirt and supported by a leather belt. The top of the leg armour normally protected the riders breeches, so calls of nature would be no problem as access would be no problem.

The armour over the thighs are normal fittings, as are the armour on the arms. The body armour has a quilted cloth cover over the shoulders the idea was to protect the upper body from the sun, possably indicating mid European equipment.

What is very odd are the chains on the sword and dagger. The chains are heavy enough to pull a 4X4 out of a bog.
The weight of the chains would make the weapons hard to use, and if dropped they would allow foot soldiers to pull the rider out of the saddle. The helmet is perfectly adequate for the job if a little out of fashion by the late middle ages.
The gauntlets are light and would indicate the saddle would probably have 2 pistol holsters.

I am probably way off but it will be interesting to find out

The inscription looks French. 'Chef de guerre' suggests a general or senior officer.

I agree that the chains are odd. You'd think they'd get caught in things. Perhaps this is armour is more for show than anything else?

Maybe the chestpiece is made of spring steel and the chains were fitted to open it up, like the white arrows indicate "open here"...

Also reminds me of something Madonna wore years ago.