h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Nik Kershaw: Human Racer - A8789881 Author: Kaz.... : join the campaign for a <chocmuffin> smiley@A4477449 - U188578 Hi I would like to re-submit this to peer review, having made a few changes to it as discussed here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F48874?thread=2014603 Thanks Kaz.

Looks good to me, but I thought it did before

Will get back for a thorough read later.

ok.

thanks

Kaz.

Just as good second time round.

I've got a handful of minor comments...

- The first sentence, second para reads a bit oddly. I think the "," after "Nicholas David Kershaw" maybe needs to be a ":" or "-" to fix this. Not sure though.

- Don't know that the break after "Wham!" is necessary.

- I guess the break between "band broke up." and "Then, Kershaw made a leap of faith," should be an end para / new para.

- "and in the studio" --> "and was in the studio"

- "woven with synthesiser and the more traditional instruments": Is it worth specifically mentioning guitar in here somehow. (It was the guitar/keyboards combination that made me a fan anyway!)

- Artist/band names in bold: Is that proper h2g2 style? I think it's OK, but I'm not sure if it's allowed. Maybe an expert can comment.

- "recieving" --> "receiving".

- "writer / producer / performer": remove the spaces?


Paff

Thanks. Can I just say, I didn't originally write this. Someone else did. 'Skankyrich' just asked if I would take it on and edit it a bit, as the original author's gone awol. I nominated it for peer review, see.
So, When I edited it, I didn't want to mess about too much with the style. I've just tried to make it a bit clearer on the eye and easier to read for someone who doesn't know much about Nik.
I will mention the guitar as you said. It is important, can't believe I didn't notice the error (!) but I guess when you've been looking at the same piece of work for several hours, you miss stuff.

I thought the para about 'leap of faith' was a bit odd too-but not sure how to adjust it so it sounds less disjointed. I only put the break in after wham! because its visually easier-well, to me anyway.

You should've seen the bold's and italics before I sorted it out-it was a mess! at least its consistent now. Will consult someone tho

Anyway, thanks for the comments



Kaz.

Kaz, yep, I understand why you don't want to muck about too much with this. I was just kind of thinking "while you're there"...

Anyway, good work.

Paff

thanks

s'okay. Think I've cracked that para problem, and I've ditched the bold. Will update it now (isn't copy and paste great!)
Hopefully should work better

You know, one of the great things about this place is that there are people here who *noticed* NK's mix of guitar and synths.

HooToo rocks, and never let anybody say otherwise!

(Drunk, moi? never)

of course Hootoo rocks! who ever said otherwise?

Um, I'm quite happy with the entry now, having made some changes. unless anyone feels there are any glaring omissions to it, what do I do next?

About the only change I'd like to suggest is re: the title, Kaz. All of our music entries tend to follow the format of "Nik Kershaw: Musician" or something similar.

Therefore, as 'Human Racer' is such a nice, evocative title, perhaps you might want to move it to a heading further down or a sub-header so it doesn't get completely lost?

Paully

It doesn't look good in classic goo! It needs spacing before and after sub headings.

what do you mean? Just the paragraph guideml? See, I don't notice these things-I'm an alabaster fan

Okay. will have a think about the title.



Kaz

have checked out the page in goo. Does look pants, but then, my space also looks rubbish in goo....?!
Will sort it out.

...Honestly, these goo fans...tsk tsk...

Kaz.

Kaz, the best way to sort out the formatting is to put a at the start of each paragraph and a at the end:


In the relatively brief period he was in the public eye, Nik Kershaw did more for what has been called 'real music' in the early eighties than many others. As punk was losing its grip on the public's imagination and the New Romantic 'movement' was peaking, he took the blandness away and made it something interesting...the naked chef of music.


Half Pint Hog

Nicholas David Kershaw: not exactly a name that would conjure images of someone who was, for a while, destined to hide more wallpaper in bedrooms than Adam Ant or
Wham!
Born in Bristol on 1st March, 1958, Kershaw spent all his formative years in
Ipswich , where he attended Northgate Grammar School. It was also here that his first foray into the music scene occured, with the band Half Pint Hog. One hesitates to assume that the band were named because of Kershaw's diminutive stature He stands 5' 4" in his socks! . They played Deep Purple covers but the career of Half Pint Hog was short lived; there appeared to be no impetus and they only played three gigs under that name.



and so on...


You seem to have used it to put in line breaks - it's ok as it is, but it will look more 'finished' to a passing Scout if you do it this way

Hope this helps!

Sorry, you should replace that tag with and tags too, to seperate the paragraphs - but don't worry if it sounds like I'm starting to take the p*** now!

its ok, I've done it. tho.

It should look all ok in Goo now.

*sneaks in*

I had a Nik Kershaw pillow

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