h2g2 Literary Corner: Crockett on Unauthorised Biographies

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Fake News: Not new. In 1834, David Crockett of Tennessee was angry at the fake news peddlers – and with good reason. A completely bogus 'autobiography' of the Congressman had come out the previous year. It portrayed him as a rip-roaring redneck. The official autobiography, which you can read here, was intended to set the record straight.

Boy, would Crockett be mad if he saw the internet today. Even in the twenty-first century, yahoos are still quoting that fake-news book to 'prove' that Davy Crockett would have agreed with them.

They are so wrong: Crockett voted his conscience, against the Indian Removal Act. He said he had to answer to God for what he did. When Congress and the White House continued to pursue what he regarded as evil policies, Crockett left the country. He died shortly after that, at the Alamo in Texas.

The US and the rest of the world sorely need someone like David Crockett today. We suspect he might work well with Senator Sanders.

Crockett on Unauthorised Biographies

Davy Crockett. Picture courtesy of Library of Congress

Fashion is a thing I care mighty little about,1 except when it happens to run just exactly according to my own notion; and I was mighty nigh2 sending out my book without any preface at all until a notion struck me, that perhaps it was necessary to explain a little the reason why and wherefore I had written it.

Most of authors seek fame, but I seek for justice, – a holier impulse than ever entered into the ambitious struggles of the votaries of that fickle flirting goddess3.

A publication has been made to the world, which has done me much injustice; and the catchpenny4 errors which it contains, have been already too long sanctioned by my silence. I don't know the author of the book – and indeed I don't want to know him; for after he has taken such a liberty with my
name, and made such an effort to hold me up to public ridicule, he cannot calculate on any thing but my displeasure. If he had been content to have written his opinions about me, however contemptuous they might have been, I should have had less reason to complain. But when he professes to give my narrative, as he often does, in my own language, and then puts into my mouth such language as would disgrace even an outlandish African5, he must himself be sensible of the injustice he has done me, and the trick he has played off on the public. I have met with hundreds, if not with thousands of people, who have formed their opinions of my appearance, habits, language, and every thing else from that deceptive work6.

They have almost in every instance expressed the most profound astonishment at finding me in human shape, and with the countenance, appearance, and common feelings of a human being. It is to correct all these false notions, and to do justice to myself, that I have written.

It is certain that the writer of the book alluded to has gathered up many imperfect scraps of information concerning me, as in parts of his work there is some little semblance of truth. But I ask him, if this notice should ever reach his eye, how would he have liked it, if I had treated him so ? – if I had put together such a bundle of ridiculous stuff, and headed it with his name, and sent it out upon the world without ever even condescending to ask his permission? To these questions, all upright men must give the same answer. It was wrong; and the desire to make money by it, is no apology for such injustice to a fellow man.

But I let him pass, as my wish is greatly more to vindicate myself, than to condemn him.

Editor's Note:   We can only speculate as to what Congressman Crockett would have said about the Davy Crockett Pellet Grill, which comes complete with wifi control and monitor for only $399. Boy, would we love to be a mouse at that copyright trial.

The Literary Corner Archive

Dmitri Gheorgheni

26.06.17 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1This was true. Ask his wife: she brought a spinning wheel into the marriage. We suspect the rest of the clothing was supplied by the wildlife. Mrs Crockett could have her choice of bearskin rugs.2Translation: I came close to. . . 3Amen. Tell it, brother.4Catchpenny: having a cheap superficial attractiveness designed to encourage quick sales. – Thus spake Google.5I can just hear Trevor Noah, 'African! Go on, say it, you're thinking African!' We must proxy apologise for Mr Crockett, who as the great-great-great-grandson of a French courtier, should have known better.6And they're still misrepresenting his ideas.

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