Professor Animal Chaos Escapes from the Asylum

1 Conversation

We've said it before with this Challenge: Don't try this at home. Performed by professional idiots.

Professor Animal Chaos Escapes from the Asylum

A man wearing a straightjacket in court looks at the Judge and a giant pigeon in the dock, and thinks, 'Jones knew one day he'd get pigeon man... one day...'

Ed.Note:The Prof says, 'Didn't need the devil. This actually happened.' We believe it, because we know the Prof.

Many moons ago, in a nearby city, there was a large hospital and it had a unit for psychological patients and for mental breakdowns, etc1.

Local folk used its name in referral as the "nuthouse" (with no disrespect of course2).

One day (in my teens) I was passing a telephone kiosk near home (the old red box type) and an evil thought appeared to me and I entered the phone box, put the required money into the slot and phoned, said, "Establishment."

A receptionist asked, "Can I be of help?"

I said, "Could you please tell me if there's anyone in room 25 on the second floor?" (This was a risk! I'd no idea if there WAS a room 25 or even a 2nd floor).

Her reply was, "I'll just check, please hold the line. . ." She came back and said, "No, there isn't!"

My reply was, "Good: I've escaped, then!"

The lady said, "Please wait where you are, there's a police officer coming to see you –"

I said, "Do you think I'm THAT stupid, after I just escaped?"

I moved away from the phone and sat on someone's low garden wall a short distance away, lit a cigarette and waited – lo and behold! a short time later, a police officer on a motorbike came and inspected the phone-box, then rode off.

My thoughts were: The receptionist didn't have a clue about someone "taking the mickey" and that calling the police/tracing the number costs money and WAS I an actual escapee?

I'm still free3!

Create Archive

Prof Animal Chaos

24.04.17 Front Page

Back Issue Page

1Or people with PTSD from meeting Professor Animal Chaos.2This is the Prof's usual phrase when being completely un-PC. He thinks it's a 'get of jail free' card, although I frequently protest that the phrase is more like a warning label. You are warned.3We're not sure for how long.

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more