h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It’s approaching midnight on New Year’s Eve. An invited delegation of h2g2’s good and great arrive at Galaxy Babe’s Palladian mansion for the evening’s entertainment. Expensive Michelin rubber products scrunch the gravel, then brakes apply, limousines grind to a halt, and unfortunately positioned garden gnomes are unceremoniously bumped into an ornamental pond running alongside the car park. As they remain there gurgling, engines cut, doors click open and slam shut, and an assortment of finely robed guests make their way up the granite steps and through the porticoed entrance. All are in evening gowns or dinner jackets, save Paulh, who clearly interpreted the term ‘monkey suit’ too literally.

Passing a sandwich board announcing the words “Psychic Night” (struck out) and the words “Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances” scrawled beneath, the hostess leads them silently into an oak-panelled, candlelit room, where each takes one of twelve seats around a bare, circular table.

“It’s better if we, er, hold hands”, announces the hostess.

“For auld acquaintance…” sings Pink Paisley, before realising all eyes are upon him. He unconvincingly attempts to segue the song into an elaborate cough, then uncrosses his arms and falls silent.

Galaxy Babe’s face turns upwards to the pendant lamp above the table, pauses, then suddenly cries out in a plaintive voice, “The community has gathered! O guardians of the spirit world, we wish to speak to our dearly departed member. Mu Beta, Mu Beta, please give us a sign!”

The lampshade lurches, causing a shower of dust, dead moths and a Toffee Crisp wrapper to fall silently to the table below. The bulb within flickers a few times then comes to life, its 11 watts barely improving the overall lighting effect. An eerie sensation of static electricity fills the room, playing havoc with MMF’s tousled hair for a moment.

“Mu Beta, I sense your presence.” the hostess continues, “The Deathlist 2016 competition is nigh. Mu Beta, speak to us!”

A loud belch emanates from above the table. A golden retriever curled up in one corner of the room whines, then gets to its feet and pads outside.

The spirit clears its throat, then belches twice more.

“D’you know - there’s a free bar on this side?”, slurs the disembodied voice. “A free bar. Stocked entirely with creme de menthe.”

“Anyway, they say I only have three minutes on this line, so I’d better get on with it.” It clears its throat once again.

“I can announce the 2015 winner was Icy North. Can I also thank my erstwhile assistant Galaxy Babe for running the show for the last couple of years while I was drying out.”

“And finally, I’d like to declare the Deathlist Game 2016 open!”.

There follows a noise not unlike the sound of a drunk falling off a bar stool, then the bulb trips off.


The guests silently rise and file out of the room, down the hallway and past an open cupboard in which lies the fuse box, as well as the slumped figure of a drunk, clutching a microphone.

thanks Icy, for taking over the mantle, I'm off for some R&R () sharing anecdotes of bygone times with my mother, who thinks I am her mother, but hey, I'll be her age one day, if I'm still around

*curtseys and calls for on speed-dial*

GB

Love the intro, Icy.

I have two comments on the entry itself - would it be possible to add links to all the previous years' pages?

And I'm sorry that by joining in, I've created a new line to the table, with only one section filled.

Thanks TC

I'll see what I can do about links to previous years' competitions - maybe we need a scoreboard of scoreboards or something.

We're delighted to have a new player TC. We've lost so many (pardon the pun)

Douglas Dick (who was on my 2015 list) died on 19th December 2015 (just announced). He's on my 2016 list. Not sure what happens now, but I'm guessing I'm a man down?

http://www.people.com/article/douglas-dick-hollywood-actor-dies

Yes, as I said on the other thread, you can't score 2016 points for it, but you do get 2015 points. I'd have substituted a replacement for the 2016 game, but you didn't provide me with one in your list

I saw that this was still going last month and had every intention of composing a list.


And then didn't.

Next year, then.

Sheila Sim, The Lady Attenborough has died (coelacanth is the first to score this year)

can't find it on BBC News, so here is http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/entertainment/celebrity/richard-attenboroughs-widow-sheila-sim-7213809#EU85OxKm0Yc1EY1m.97 sorry

GB

It's still not on the BBC but it's reported everywhere else, and I trust the Guardian. http://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jan/21/sheila-sim

Nothing to celebrate but just to note, I was first on the scoreboard last year too.

You'll be first on the scoreboard when I get around to updating it

When you get a round tuit, all the researcher links at the top of our lists here: A87865348 lead to the old front page. In the link, you've missed out the U in the researcher numbers. (I'm in Goo, so this might be a skin specific problem.)

I got a round tuit

Scoreboard: A87865366

POINTS FOR harper lee http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/12165334/Harper-Lee-author-of-To-Kill-A-Mockingbird-Go-Set-a-Watchman-dies-live.html

So Coelocanth breaks the ice for 2016.



10 points for Coelocanth Icy.



MMF

It's 15 points, as no one else had her on their list, taking me to 30 points already.

It's remarkable that, given the number of high-profile deaths this year so far, it seems almost none of them have been the ones we were expecting...

Coelacanth's off to a flying start

Homepage updated: A87865348
Scoreboard updated: A87865366

George Kennedy: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/george-kennedy-dead-cool-hand-721400

Points for The Groob.

Homepage updated: A87865348
Scoreboard updated: A87865366