h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Desert Bus for Hope - A87860875
Author: AlexAshman - U566116


Hi folks! Guess what I'll be doing next month.

Alex

Thanks Bob.

I've gone through the entry again and made various little improvements. I've tried to keep the length down, as otherwise it's tempting to start listing memes and in-jokes. If there's anything I haven't explained properly, or anything that needs more context, please do let me know.

That sounds like a really dreadful game! I definitely see why it should be in the Guide.

Your first sentence immediately raises the question: who is Paul Saunders? Am I supposed to know him?
Maybe you can just say 'Internet comedian Paul Saunders'?

I know you link to the Child's Play Homepage, but I think nobody should be forced to click any links when reading an Entry, so please add one sentence to say what they do.

Do they take turns playing the game on one computer or are there several people playing 'against each other' (like who arrives first)?

And if I feel really bored and slightly suicidal, where would I be able to get that game?

Good to see you writing again! A very enjoyable entry, short and sweet.

The only thing I wondered was whether Graham Stark was the same Graham Stark who was Peter Sellers' best mate in the RAF and later appeared in many of his films, including the 'Pink Panther' series. His 'That is not my ' is still one of the greatest comedy moments.

I'm guessing probably not.

<BB<

Thanks for the suggestions - I've made some changes.

The game was never released, but it's out there on the net to be downloaded.

The Canadian Graham Stark didn't appear in the Pink Panther films. I doubt anyone would confuse them, but I've added a footnote so that I can link to a certain project from this entry

Any more suggestions folks?

I admit I'm confused by this. What was the purpose of the original boring game? And why was it designed by wizards.

This is a great entry. I find the original concept for the game quite amusing, too. The idea of playing a bus-driving game in real time...well, it's just so zen...

Good luck if you're doing this!

Gnomon, the purpose of the game was exactly as stated - it was intended to be as inoffensive and dull as possible in order to show that the medium of video gaming is not automatically a bad influence on people.

Thanks DG, I am indeed volunteering with them this year. Should be interesting...

I found a video review of this game that you might like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFi2vcseEz8

I was curious to see the screen, etc.

Warning: the player uses colourful language...

Oh, I love his reviews. Watched loads of them some months ago.

Maybe it's just me, but I think this would work better if it was split up into separate sections a bit more:

Introductory paragraph

The Desert Bus game

The Comedy Troupe

The Marathon

You could put headers on each section to make it clearer, but more importantly, try and keep each section to its topic. The information about Desert Bus should be moved from the introduction ino the Desert Bus section.

I agree that this would be better.

Ok, done.

Thanks Alex. I think that is a lot better.

Only 11 days until Desert Bus 9 starts!

Any further thoughts on the entry?

What an amazing story!

The entry looks fine as it stands, but since it's still here and pushing on mid-December, if the totals are available, would you like to update the 2014 results with the 2015 results? (and, for the record, I think "no" is a perfectly acceptable answer).

Done