h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You are amazing. That is horribly difficult to do and she is SO lucky to have you to talk to. Such dreams and memories haunt a friend of mine but he has no-one to tell at that hour, at least who would listen, except me many hours after, and it troubles him greatly. The are all jumbled up so often don't make much sense either.



Websailor

Sometimes they need unjumbling, sometimes the best you could do is listen and help the memories come out. Maybe your friend might try writing stuff down when he remembers it?

He struggles a great deal to write and put things in to words, psychologists have tried that with him but he just clams up. I got him to email me stuff he couldn't speak about and not having to confront someone seems to have helped him over the last seven years to unburden himself. We always discuss and rationalise afterwards. Sadly too much medication too soon and for too long hasn't helped the nightmares.

Hang in there you are doing a great job

Websailor

Thanks, I appreciate your support.

Of the survivors I know, many have never confronted their abusers or told their family so that doesn't surprise me. Has he tried drawings? Does he refuse to speak about it or is he unable to remember?

It wasn't the level of abuse you are thinking about but as a young child prolonged bullying and stuff by children, and later adults, which he could not tell anyone about has had a long term effect, though I think speaking about it to me has helped enormously. It has taken a very long time but some things are ongoing but there is progress.

Emotional abuse is very much harder to prove than physical unfortunately.

I do not want to say any more which might identify him.

Websailor

Of course not, I understand. I have no wish to pry. Most abuse is psychological in the end and it can all be damaging, even if you think of abuse as being more or less severe. Sadly proof of abuse is something that elludes pretty much everyone I know and makes coming to terms with their experiences a more realistic goal than achieving justice for them.