h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Gheluvelt Park War Memorial, Worcester - A87801122
Author: Geggs (QoTD Operator) Have you seen something Quotable? Send it to [email protected] now! Not sure how? See A87795148. Latest QotD review at A87795139. - U201647

Potentially submitted as part of the current Create - gardens - though it's really about a park.

And actually it's not about that either, It's about how the park came to be, why is has such an odd name, and a prominent feature within it.

Maybe it's won't count for the Create, but at least it's managed to get into PR.

All thoughts, suggestions and corrections are welcome.


Geggs

A good entry, but when I did a map-based search of Worcester to see if it was a Registered Park or Garden (it isn't, but there is apparently a grade II octagonal lodge nearby), from this entry I wasn't entirely sure whereabouts in Worcester it was. Would it be worth including a 'how to get to' section? It also looks like National Cycle Route 46 passes by.

Possibly also include links to official websites about the park?
http://www.worcester.gov.uk/index.php?id=1440
http://www.gheluveltfriends.org.uk

<BB<

A good entry.

the park as a whole stands at a war memorial
-- that should be "as a war memorial"

27 corten steel panels -- what's corten? Could you explain in a footnote?

I think it might be worth saying where Gheluvelt in Belgium is as well as where this park is:

the line broke at Gheluvelt --> the line broke at Gheluvelt near Ypres

You could add this to the first paragraph:

The park is located about a mile north of the centre of Worcester, between the A38 and the River Severn.

You could also perhaps provide instructions on where the entrance is and where you can park your car, as there doesn't appear to be any carpark beside the park.

Thank you both.

I've updated the entry, changing the paragraphs around a bit, adding in links, and (hopefully) addressing the points raised.


Geggs

I've changed the title, as the entry is more about the park in general than the 'interpretation feature' specifically.


Geggs

Geggs

We went to the park today, and I found out some more detail that I might have to merge into the text, but I'm busy for the next few days, so bare with me.

I took several photos too.


Geggs

hi
I've read this Entry a while ago but never managed to post here, sorry. It sounds like a very intersting 'sculpture' (or whatever you want to call it), thanks for writing about it! And I hope you took some photos for us.

Thanks Tav!

I have taken photos, you'll be glad to know.

I still need to put in the details that I found out last weekend. I have every intention to getting that done this week.


Geggs

I know, it's taken my a while, but the entry is now updated with the detail I discovered the other week.


Geggs

Hi Geggs

>...a fuller's yard complete with a mill and eight pools primarily used for making sailclothes.

I believe that last word should be simply sailcloth, even when dressing ship

Looking good

F S

Thanks FS. Sailcloth duly corrected.


Geggs

This looks very good now.

There are a few minor typos and house style details which can be sorted out by the sub-editor.

I have three suggestions about phrasing which I'd like you to consider:

1.

"The majority of the land was owned by the Cookes family" -- the phrase "the majority of" sounds like business-speak. I'd suggest:

"Most of the land was owned by the Cookes family"

2.

"Lavender evidently owned Lavender House on the other side of Lavender Road to Barbourne House." - this is slightly confusing because of the profusion of Lavender. You could say:

"Lavender evidently already owned the big house which is on the other side of Lavender Road to Barbourne House; it is called Lavender House."

3.

"Corten steel forms a protective layer over time when exposed to the element which looks like rust."

This suggests "the element which looks like rust", leaving the reader wondering what element that is. Rewording it, and changing "the element" to "the elements", we get:

"When exposed to the elements, Corten steel forms a protective layer over time which looks like rust."

Yeah, I agree with all of those. Unfortunately I'm off on holiday his week, and trying to edit the entry through my phone may prove problematic, but as soon as I'm home I'll make all three changes.


Geggs

Those changes have now been made.


Geggs

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Well done.

Well done!


lil xx

Congratulations!

Congratulations from me as well!

...and I read earlier in this thread that you mentioned to Tav that you had some photos!!

Now is the time for me to request that, if possible, you could send one or two of the best to:

artists at h2g2 dot com

please

thanking you in anticipation...

Rosie