Did I ever mention that I like Doctor Who? No? Remind me to tell you all about it sometime. Anyway, you don't need to know much for this particular brief allusion to a 10th Doctor Story called The Girl in the Fireplace. At the end of the drama, The Doctor is somewhat emotionally drained and his friend Rose asks him if he's alright. 'I'm always alright' replies The Doctor. He is, needless to say, lying.

A few years ago my wife and I had a couple of friends round for dinner. In the fashion of our dinner parties, one of them had broken down in tears and was starting to talk openly about her abusive former relationship. In order better to empathise with her our other guest told her not to worry because we all have traumas and it's fine to get upset. He, as he pointed out, was alcoholic. He's not any more. Raven chipped in with her health condition and her child abuse trauma. I…. had nothing. I opened another bottle of wine and resigned myself to not getting a proper night's sleep.

More recently I ran into another mutual friend. She had a tough year last year, what with illness and death amongst her friends and family, and health problems of her own. Her colleague had also been nastily unwell of late. I told her about my wife's fall and the theory that it was her heart. She made sympathetic noises and asked how I was, which was a nice change. I told her I was fine. She laughed cheerily. 'You're always fine, aren't you?'

It has to be said I usually am. I don't get ill very often and I've never had anything like a serious illness in my life. I've convalesced from minor surgery (I had a rhinoplasty¹ and a vasectomy) but that's about it, apart from migraines and the odd bug. But the truth, of course, is that as a carer there is extra pressure on me. I get tired a lot. I have stiff muscles and sore joints and I don't always sleep that well. I worry a lot and get quite stressed. A lot of carers are a lot younger or a lot older than me, and they do have illnesses or maladies of their own. For them, the pressure of care must be intense.

Funny how fate conspires against you, isn't it? I didn't have a nice, neat, ending for this piece. This piece about how, even though I don't get ill, I do need a break. Then I got ill. So I have been… well let us just say keeping very little down over the last 24 hours. But now it's deadline day. And I need to tell you about how I have been unwell and the impact that has made (because I think it matters, not just because I am self-important, although I clearly am self-important) and I need to give you a whole explanation of what I was going to say next and… and… I don't have the time. But I do have one thing left, a last card to play. Rule number 408. Time is not the boss of you². So I shall be back with some, but not all, of those things, in the blink of an eye.

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