h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Right Mrs McBiscuit, I done them vegetables like you arsked me. What else does you need doin'?

If you've got a few spare minutes there's a tray of mixers over there that needs to go up to the drawing room before the guests start to arrive. Mr Body's still in the bath so will be late down.

Roight you are Sir, I see Mrs McBiscuit has put this tray of nuts and suchlike, as well. Shall I take that up at the same time?

Please do Harry thank you.

Well, that's fixed now sir,

Is Mrs McBiscuit still not here? < whisper > I did see she was on the cooking sherry a bit, earlier on like.

I'm afraid that appears to be the case Harry. I've mixed her some coffee, and hopefully she'll be coming around soon.

I think I should stir this soup for her - what do you think Sir?

That's the doorbell sir. I'll just sit here and wait then.

*stirs the soup absent mindedly*

Ah Harry, thank you for minding things. Has she sobered up yet? I'm guessing from the groaning that she has.

Luckily it's this 'ere soup first. I can give you a hand to carry things upstairs, if she's still groggy.

Thank you Harry, if you could take things up to the pantry when we're, then I shall be able to serve fine.

Cook, when will these be ready? Will they be ready for nine?

I think that groan meant 'yes' sir. But she's standing up now.

Indeed yes, let's hope that she's at least sober enough to cook dessert. The soup for starters is nearly ready, and the main course is keeping warm in the oven, but she'll need to be more sober to prepare the dessert.

That's almost nine o'clock. Harry, could you please get the soup ready to go up and I'll get them into the dining room?

*leaves to go back to the drawing room*

*grumbles under his breath*
*glares at the still half drunk cook*
*reaches out the silver soup turreen and ladles the mushroom soup into it*

*Carefully ascends the stairs and leaves the hot soup on the banquet table, in the pantry. Covers it with a white cloth*

Ah Harry, is the soup up in the pantry already? I'll go and start serving it up, they should be there by now unless they've hit the drinks cabinet again.

I seem to be the only sober person, apart from your good self Sir.