h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Failure to correctly calculate conversions between
Metric and Imperial - and goodforbid American -
standards of measure has resulted in airplanes
running out of fuel, rockets not achieving orbit
and Rovers lying like useless rust on a red planet.

Even more unfortunately a similar failure to convert
Farenheit and Celsius can ruin an otherwise perfect
peom.

The figure 30C in the peom above is wrong. It was not
a typo and in no way the fault of the Post, its editors
or staff. It was my complete brain fade during the sacred
act of composition (opposed as always to the unholy act
of decomposition).


It wanted to be 42C but that's too hot. The human body
in good health reads 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit and this
converts to 37 Celsius. 105 Fahrenheit is usually the max
temp huumanlife can survive. This terminal point converts
to only 40.56 C leaving 42 well beyond our reach.

Life isn't fare.

To further deconstruct my now ruined and meaningless
piece of wanna-be-art, the title is a pun on Hari Kari
- Japanese ritual suicide - and Jim Carey famous Canuck
comedian and film star (and likely reincarnation of a
jolly kamikaze pilot I thought I once knew).

The idea of cooking human flesh is currently among the
top 1000 topics of cyberspace chatter - with dark and
deeply disturbing archaeological finds in every part
of the whirled - even the nice places like Cheddar.


So anyway, the logic of it is that it should read 40.56 C,
as hot as we can get internally unless we are being roasted.

But that doesn't scan. It's a bit of logic that forms part
of the overall structure of the thought behind the peom but
it doesn't scan.

And yet, 37 does scan:

"At best we'd get a reading
of 37 C and they'd stuff us
back in the oven"

37 is the same as 98.6 our normal healthy setting.
Being as hot as we can get is as silly as committing
Hairy Carey, especially in a Gym. We desire normal.

Without that understanding the peom is roooooned!
But it's too late now.



~jwf~

PS:
The spelling huumanlife above is also (Spelling Is Correct)
Huumanlife cometh from the vacuum that is the Nighthoover.
Be it ashes or dust it's all good.

Did you want it changed? If so, to what?

On the other hand, I'd leave it. If Keats could write that line about 'stout Cortez', you can say '30C', say I. Poetic licence.

Very kind of you to offer.
Perhaps, when you have time
an asterisk or footnote number
at the number 30 could lead to
a footnote saying "30C should
read as 37C, see attached converation
'Curiosity' for explanation and details."

Not that it really matters to Keats.
Or Cortez.



~jwf~

Will do.