h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Agriculture arrived in Ireland 6000 years ago but was practised in the Middle East for thousands of years before that.

A87764926 - Walls

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How is this coming along? We'd really like to see this in the Edited Guide

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Original article: A10150480 - author: Think-Am - U2111883
Original article Peer Review thread: F3840714?thread=2493015
Original article Flea Market thread: F74125?thread=3310579
Second article: A15718133 - author: Vip - U188069
Second article Writing Workshop thread: F5480873?thread=3523408
Third article: A28966729 - author: Skankyrich - U931109 et al
Third article Writing Workshop thread: F8668164?thread=4769703
Third article Peer Review thread: F8668164?thread=6093745
Third article Flea Market thread: F74125?thread=6420462

This article: A87764926 - author: Bluebottle - U43530

I believe I have answered all wall-related points raised and queries. If anyone else has anything further to add, please let me know!

<BB<

I think this needs a fair amount of work - it reads at the moment like something that has been added to and changed many times by many people without checking that flows well and makes sense.

Here are a few suggestions:

"These early walls may not be found during archaeological digs (having often been made of natural stone, wood, animal dung and other degradable substances)"

-- this suggests that natural stone is a degradable substances. It is not. The walls were not found when they were made of substances other than natural stone. In general when the walls were made of stone they are fairly easily findable.

mortar is easily washed away by poor weather -- "poor" isn't the right word here. Perhaps use "harsh".

"Also, about the section on stonewalls from cleared fields, I know we have evidence of while the Ceide fields are listed as the oldest intact wall and the oldest walled fields. "

-- this paragraph doesn't appear to make any sense. I suggest you remove it rather than rewording it - there's no need to mention the Céide Fields.

"An opposite example are the stone walls of the Inca, who did not usually go for rectangular shapes because they take longer to build."

-- you can't really say "opposite example". Perhaps you could reword this and explain the unusual wall-building technique of the Inca.


"the Easter Islands" --> Easter Island -- this is a single, isolated island, not a group.

Since Roman times have been built of a standard sizes -->
Since Roman times, these have been built in standard sizes

to make them easier to build with>

-- rogue punctuation

"They have been made larger at times when the number of bricks used in houses has been taxed and more recently, with more technology used in building, brick sizes can be bigger too."

"Drystone walls" should be "Dry stone walls"


-- this is not at all clear. I understand about the taxing part, but it could be better explained. I don't understand about technology allowing brick sizes to be bigger, as they obviously can be made bigger without advanced technology.

"Bricks are not stacked on top of one another directly, but in order to make walls more stable different patterns of long 'stretcher' bricks and short 'header' bricks3 are used."
-- you could mention that they are overlapped.

In the list of types of wall, you go from Dry Stone Walls to Other Stone Walls, and immediately start talking about Castle double walls with rubble filling. You should instead talk about stone walls constructed using mortar and explain what mortar is.

I'll try and look at some more of this later.

G

More:

widely used worldwide - this sounds clumsy because of the repetition of "wide". If it is used worldwide, it is automatically widely used. Rephrase it.

If the technique is widely used, why is it described in the past tense.

logspiled -- add a space

Leonidas at Battle of Thermopylae -->
Leonidas at the Battle of Thermopylae

On day 3 all but Demophilus -->
On day three, all but Demophilus

the vast Persian Empire under Xerxes were invading Greece -->
the vast Persian Empire under Xerxes was invading Greece

Wall Street is the financial district of the United States -- it's worth saying that it is in New York

confectionary --> confectionery

seperates --> separates

I'm a bit wary of claiming that the walls of the Ceide Fields are the oldest in the world. At almost 6,000 years old, they're not as old as the fortification walls around the town of Solnitsata in Bulgaria, and I'm sure there must be other equally old walls in various places around the world.

Thanks for your very thorough read-through, Gnomon, I believe I have addressed all the points you have raised and made the corrections you have suggested.

I won't go into details about what I have changed, but if there are any particulars you would like me to address I'm happy to do so.

<BB<

Thanks, Bluebottle.

A few points that need your consideration:

I think you should remove "Mental Block" and "Glass Ceiling" from the list of Metaphysical Walls, since they are not described as a wall.

they went to an oracle -->

they went to the Oracle at Delphi (with a link to Delphi A15847734)

This story about the Wooden Wall is reported as fact in Herodotus but is likely to be a myth, although the battle that took place is genuine. I'm not sure whether this is worth mentioning.

In the section on Hadrian's Wall, the 1st and 3rd paragraphs are about Hadrian's Wall while the 2nd paragraph is about the Antonine Wall. Move the 2nd paragraph to 3rd place.

------------------------------------------------------------
One thing I'm pointing out because it is a mistake that you make in every entry you write - it would be less work for the sub-editors and curators if you fixed it now:

Remove the quotes around the italaliced tale of Belshazzar. Since you have already italicised it, it should not also have quotes.

The same applies to the paragraph starting "The town of Wall".

------------------------------------------------------------
The other issues can be sorted out by the sub-editor, but if you want to do them now, feel free:

In definitions 3 and 4 from Dictionary.com, the phrases a wall of prejudice, a wall of fire and a wall of troops should in italics.

You could add a link to Easter Island A778115

only the number of bricks were taxed -->
only the number of bricks was taxed

Log cabins etc. are -- remove the full stop

a programme designed to block unwanted intrusions -- it is normal to use the spelling "program" for computer programs

one of the crowd..
-- remove the second full stop

Thermistocles --> Themistocles

One of the oldest extant walls known are those -->
Some of the oldest extant walls known are those

six thousand years --> 6,000 years

"Hadrian's Wall is located in northern Britain and stretches a distance of 74 miles. Hadrian's Wall is now a UNESCO Word Heritage Site"
-- to eliminate repetition, change the second "Hadrian's Wall to "The wall".

When Emperor Antoninus Pius succeeded he ordered -->
When Emperor Antoninus Pius succeeded Hadrian, he ordered

In this, troupe of amateur actors -->
In this, a troupe of amateur actors

That's everything I can find.

Oracle's location and link added.
This story about the Wooden Wall is reported as fact in Herodotus but is likely to be a myth, although the battle that took place is genuine.
I've written 'according to Herodotus'.
Hadrian's Wall paragraphs re-ordered and other changes made.
Quotes around the italicised text removed.
phrases in italics.
Link to Easter Island added
bricks was taxed
Full stops removed in one of the crowd log cabins etc
Use the spelling "program" for computer programs
Thermistocles --> Themistocles
One of the oldest extant walls known are some of the oldest extant walls
six thousand years --> 6,000 years
a troupe of amateur actors

The Mental Block and Glass Ceiling sections are removed (and kept here for further comment if appropriate)
Mental Block, such as Writer's Block . When there feels like a wall-like barrier between you and what you are trying to write, describe or verbalise.
Glass Ceiling. A perceived inability for a particular group in society to rise to higher levels, due soley to their belonging to such a group. This term is usually used to describe women who cannot be promoted due to discrimination against their sex, despite this being illegal in the countries where this phrase is commonly used.

Thanks for being very thorough as always!

<BB<

One final thing:

the link to www.ceidefields.com doesn't work for me in Firefox, although it works in Internet Explorer. It brings back a page of gobbledygook rather than proper text. Since we already have a link to a site about the Céide Fields, it might be easiest to just omit it.

Other than that, I'm happy with this and believe it is ready to be picked.

Actually, all that www.ceidefields.com does is to put up a cool image and then bring you to http://ceidefields.com/ceide/

If you link to this directly, it should work in any browser.

In that case, consider the broken link amended!

<BB<

I consider this entry ready to be picked. All we need now is a scout.

Wow. I cannot believe that this is finally finished. It must be one of the longest running in-progress Entries ever!

Very well done BB!

Don't worry - there's still plenty of time for a spanner to be thrown in the works at the last second...

I hope you're happy with how this article's progressed, Vip!

<BB<

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

No Spanner - congrats!

Another Brick in the Wall, another Wall in the Guide

I bet you can't make a comment linking the entry to the guide like your last with every entry

Congratulations Think-Am, Vip, Skankyrich and everyone else who contributed to this article. Might have taken almost 7 years, but it's been accepted from Peer Review in the end.

<BB<