h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The vogons are alive and well! They live in Canberra, ACT
AUSTRALIA. To understand them you must remember that everything
is in triplicate. For example, they have three personalities.
One is there "do nothing" persona. This persona they open up
and use when they go to work on a committee. This is
why fact finding committees never find any actual facts.
I owe this insight to that great TV show, YES MINISTER
(followed by the equally good YES PRIME MINISTER).
A second persona that these Canberra "Vogons" have is their superior
being persona. This is assumed everytime you ask their opinion on anything at all.
Even if they have no opinion on the matter you raise, these Canberra
"Vogons" will talk for a minimum of 30 minutes, just to show you how clever
they are at all times. The final person is so well known to all those on living on welfare payments.
They sometimes have to apply, to these "Vogons"
in Canberra, for financial help. This persona is best summed up in the phrase "no way". There is "no way"
they can be of any assistance without
(Fill in the blank) approval. Initiative is not in their vocabulary. In fact it is banned is Canberra as a
subversive activity. So when you go hitchhiking in Australia,
never accept a lift to Canberra. You will end up regretting your choice.