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A Cheater's Mince Pies

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Completed cheater's mince pies.

So you want to make mince pies, but you don't want to spend a lot of time on them? Never fear! If you're not fussy about perfect presentation, then this must be the quickest method you'll ever find. And if you wanted pies to look perfect, you'd have bought them from a shop, right?

What Do I Need?

  • A jar or two of mincemeat1.

  • A sheet or two of chilled (not frozen) shortcrust pastry. Check the packet to see how many sheets you get.

  • A few spoonfuls of sugar. Granulated or caster sugar is just fine, but some people prefer icing sugar.

  • A flat baking tray, lined with either a Teflon sheet2 or greaseproof paper.

  • A blunt knife, for square pies3, or something that can cut in a circle for circular pies4.

  • An oven, preheated to moderately high heat.

What Do I Do?

  1. Unroll the pastry sheet onto a flat surface. Don't remove the plastic backing for now, as this makes the pies easier to move around later.

  2. Using any clean implement to hand, gently mark down the centre line of the pastry sheet. Don't cut it, just mark it.

  3. Laying out the dollops of mincemeat.
  4. Place dollops of mincemeat at equal intervals on one side of the pastry sheet5. Try to make them small portions, and leave at least a finger's width between each one. The taller your dollop, the larger the risk that your pastry will rip as it stretches over it.

  5. Carefully flop the unused side of the pastry over the top of your handiwork. It's easiest to use the plastic backing to control the pastry, and then peel it off when the top layer of pastry is in the correct place.

  6. At this point you decide whether you want to create circular pies or square ones. Use a (clean!) finger to press the pastry layers together in-between the dollops to create the shape you want. Don't be afraid to push hard; you want these things to stick together, so that scalding hot liquid doesn't seep out of the sides of your pies!

  7. If you want square pies, simply use a blunt knife to cut lines between the pies you have just created. A blunt knife doesn't cut through the plastic layer, which makes it easier to move the pies later. If you want round ones, use your chosen circular cutter to press out your pies, then remove any excess pastry. You can even be creative and use the offcuts to create little decorations, if you feel up to it.

  8. Cutting out the pies with a handy pie cutter.
  9. Make a final finger press around the edges of each of your pies, to make sure they won't leak when cooking.

  10. Now the fun part: getting your creations onto your baking sheet. You can either place them on there one by one, or you can attempt to do them all at once by using the plastic backing to carry them as a batch. Cover the top with the spare plastic, turn them over and carry them upside-down. That way you can flip them onto the baking sheet the correct way up once you've removed the plastic layer from the bottoms of your pies.

  11. Sprinkle the sugar over the top of your pies. If you're using caster or granulated sugar, gently press it on with your finger to stop it shaking off later.

  12. Whack the tray into the oven, and remove them when they're as brown as you would like. This usually takes about 15 minutes, but will vary wildly depending on your oven temperature and your own definition of what you want them to look like. Generally speaking though, the longer they are cooked for, the drier the pastry gets.

  13. Finally, decide whether to eat them as soon as the filling stops being scalding hot, or to save them for later6.

So what about the washing up? Well, your Teflon sheet should just require a quick soapy wipe down to get rid of the grease and sugar. Your flat surface will have been protected by the plastic of the pastry, so will need only the minimum of cleaning. And, yes, your two teaspoons and your cutting tool will need to be washed up. Still, it could be worse!

1This is a spiced, sweet, fruit-based filling, not actual meat. It's not always available all year round, but it always rears its head in the run-up to Christmas. You'll usually find it in the 'home baking' aisle in a supermarket. Have a look at the Entry on Mince Pies for more details of what the stuff actually contains.2For those who haven't come across these things, they now make Teflon sheets that are about as big as a baking sheet. They are almost completely non-stick, and are fantastic either as a replacement for greaseproof paper or for putting on the bottom of your oven to catch spills and so on. They don't fold well, though, so it's best to use them on a flat surface.3Or a pizza wheel, or a pastry wheel cutter with crinkly edges – anything that works!4Circular pastry cutters are ideal, but a drinking glass or anything else small with a circular edge will do just fine. If you have none of those things you can always use a knife, anyway: your pies just won't be as perfectly circular.5Using two teaspoons works well. Use one to get a spoonful of mincemeat out of the jar, and the second to scrape the dollop from the first spoon on to the pastry.6Mince pies can be frozen before or after cooking – it's up to you.

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