h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Following very much the the steed of Mike Zigrosi, here is a list of my attempts on the BBCi boards over the course of my many years on there.

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THE ELDER YEARS (or "Who am I?")

"The Master's Trial" -- Featuring the Master and 8 Doctors. The Master is placed on Trial by the Time Lords. All 8 Doctors are his collective defence council, as they provide evidence of occasions he has helped them over the years. It is revealed the entire Trial is an illusion by a creature known as Omini, who wants the Master dead.

"The Master's Verdict" -- Featuring the Master and 5 Doctors. Sequel to the above. The Master and 5 of the Doctors escape from Omini, and make their way to it's lair where they confront it.

"The Crossover Terror" -- Featuring the 'Nth Doctor'. A 'Round-Robin' tale, featuring the Doctor meeting various figures from other television programmes. Contributed to mainly by the now absent "Professor Ohm", in the form of various 'The Avengers' bits. My contribution included the Doctor meeting Blackadder and Baldrick.

"Return of the Crossovers!" -- Featuring various Doctors. Opened with a Blakes 7 crossover, moving on to a Thunderbirds one.

My contribution this time was only brief, where 'The Stranger and Miss Brown' (played by Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant) from the BBV Video series are surprised to find a Police Box materialising on their tube platform, and even more surprised to find themselves face to face with the Sixth Doctor and Peri (played by Colin Baker and Nicola Bryant). An interesting crossover!

"The Five Masters" -- A direct spoof of the "Five Doctors", where the Masters try to get the to Dark Tower.

The First Master is the Delgado one, the second the Peter Pratt one (from "Deadly Assassin"), the Third the Ainley one (who recieves a visit from the Third Doctor, professing his need to help him), the Fourth the Eric Roberts one (trapped in a time bubble in a San Franciscian alleyway - Stock Footage!) and the Fifth by the Jonathan Pryce one. Not at all serious in any way whatsoever.

"Short Trips" -- Featuring various Doctors. Several short, 'one post' storylines, featuring several Doctors. Idea reincarnated later as "The Call Box of Doom".

"The Darker Days" -- Straight forward. The Seventh Doctor collects the Master's remains from Skaro.

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THE MODERN ERA (or "This can't be how it ends!")

"The Production Team" -- Several stories, spoofing various production teams of Doctor Who. Discontinued. INSPIRATION: THE OFFICE (BBC COMEDY SERIES).

"The Power of One" -- Part of Mike Mills 'Season 28'. The Eighth Doctor and new companions Eliza and Carl find themselves strandard on 1980s Earth. The Doctor is captured by rogue agents, wanting to learn the secrets of 'The Other' -- His father.

The story before this one, by Jenny May, introduced Eliza and Carl. The story after it, by Martin 'Raspy' Penny, killed them off. It was up to me to create their entire actual era with the Doctor. I did this by making the story take place over several over several years in which, in typically cheesy fashion, the two humans fall in love. INSPIRATION: LANCE PARKIN'S FATHER TIME (BBC BOOKS), THE PERTWEE ERA, DOCTOR WHO: THE MOVIE (AND EARLY SCRIPTS OF IT), THE MCCOY ERA.

"Tom Baker's Day In" -- A crazy day in the life of Tom Baker. Spoof. INSPIRATION: TOM BAKER, AND HIS WACKY REAL-LIFE PERSONA.

"Glitz and Dibber: Marginal Profit" -- Sabalom Glitz and his sidekick Dibber (from "The Trial of a Time Lord") get an adventure to themselves. Glitz and Dibber come across the details to find a secret weapon. Racing against two Space Security Corps officers that aren't what they seem, they find the data to create the biochemical weapon on a derelict spaceship. The disc is last seen floating into the depths of space (if, indeed, space can be said to contain depth). INSPIRATION: TRIAL OF A TIME LORD PARTS 1-4, DAVE McINTEE'S "MISSION IMPRACTICAL" (BBC BOOK).

"Flight of the Caliban" -- The Sixth Doctor recieves a strange vision, and he and Mel walk right into his final curtain call, on the planet Caliban. INSPIRATION: REVELATION OF THE DALEKS, THE TRIAL OF A TIME LORD PARTS 9-12, TIME AND THE RANI.

"Doctor Who and the Call Box of Doom!" -- A return to the 'Single post' story format of "Short Trips". The 4th Doctor and Romana encounter an interesting TARDIS. INSPIRATION: SEASON 17.

"Spatial Boundries" -- Featuring the Doctor (the 10th?). INSPIRATION: "JACK THE RIPPER" TALES, HG WELLS, SEASON 18.

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THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME: (or "Don't worry Grace. You'll do great things.")

Following "Spatial Boundries" will be an all new Seventh Doctor adventure! Stay Tuned!

Wow, I never knew you'd penned so many Lance. Do you still have a copy of "Tom Baker's Day In" by any chance? I'd quite like to read that.

Sorry Steven, but I deleted all my old stories. Just like the BBC, I felt nobody would have any interest in reading them after their original posting.

For the record - And entirely from memory - It involved Steve Roberts telephoning him (Several times!) and asking him to be on a commentary, which Tom continuously fobs off in his usual offhand manner ("Steve Who? What is this DVD then? What Key to Time, hm?"). Tom then answers the door, gets his post and sits down to read the newspaper. It ended with him wondering why there was a Police Box in the living room ("The fans must have put it there, fans do love to do things like put a TARDIS in the middle of my living room.")

You junked them all :0 Dear oh dear. I've only read a few of them: I've read the production team, and a couple of others. Dear oh dear. :'( I've come over so upset I've started using smiley's in excess. :0

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Lol!

A lost classic...