h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh...why, thank you...I think I just might have a cup of that....hey, wait a minute. You were thinking "mwa haha" I can't possibly accept this fine, relaxing, wonderful smelling cup of tea (I'm assuming it's chamomiile?)....aww, who'm I kiddin'?

[takes cup...sips satisfyingly...drops to ground in a heap]

Drat, I should have known it was drugged. But it tasted so good!

Oh it's all too easy,
You do get yourself into these things far too easily, Vesty was right, you good guys you're good, you're not bright.
But while I have you at my mercy, I need to ask one more time.... Are you really with the good guys? Evil G seems to think you may be for evil,, for evil,, for evil (watch the teaspoon... you are getting sleepy..)

Fate, I'm starting to loose both faith and patience with turning TRED to evil. You may have been right. He seems to only be flirting with Evil.

Hypnotism may work ... give it a shot.

Bwaaa-ha-hey-hey-hey!

hmm, flirting with good just doesn't have the same ring to it does it?

Good doesn't recognise flirting. Subtlety is not Good's strong point. I can't understand how all these people flock to the banner of good?

Well, Vest did say that the good were not all that bright.

Bwa-diddly-dum-dum-de-da-da Bwa-diddly-dum-dum-de-da-da

I'm not convinced that the Vestboy is entirely good - calling me FATC (fatsy)'s not very nice. Or good.
And it doesn't look much like this lot are particularly good at stamping out evil anyway. Not very effective are they?

About as effective as a paper submarine.

And what the hell is wrong with a paper submarine? My father explored the seas with a paper submarine for about thirty seconds, before he mysteriously drowned.

Stupidity, it's in the genes...

evil?

evil...

yes...evil...

yes, yes...yes....

NO, NO, NO!!!!

Must divert my thoughts away from evil...must be good...must....be.........GOOD!!!!

Stupid is as Manboy does ...

*thinks* damn, need to brush up on my hypnotizing skills.
Evil G, can I borrow your "Handbook of Evil", the pages of mine are stuck together with tea..

Not the pages regarding Vestboy's weakpoints?

I've got Vestboy right where I want him
He's succumbing to my evil charm - he's wearing the tea stains with pride, I *know* his weak points
Mwa mwa mwa
And I haave a supply of lemons just in case..

... And now we have Lemon Discordial as well!

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ha!

Mwa mwa mwaaaaa
What happened to Scumpit?

Off plotting evil, no doubt.

Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk (I substituting Scumpit's laugh here.)

Yes! It is I, Vestboy, The former ManBoy, But I'm Evil now, and have Lemon Discordial! And I have put TRED into a unessary slow, easily escapable trap, and we demand One Million Dollars!!

Gwahahahahahahaha!!! Yah yah yah! Bfffffffffffffffffft!

Vestboy?