h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Orders:

1. Read my entry on 'Nothing' at A886296 and comment on it in pr
2. Read my entry on 'The 24 Game' at A902206 and comment on it in pr
3. Read my entry on 'Blank Pages in Exam Papers' at A903070 and comment on it in pr
4. Join The Smiley Battle at F97504?thread=231557&latest=1 and battle with smilies
5. Join the Ultimate World War Zone: All Armies War battle at F97504?thread=211113&latest=1
6. If you were already involved in the battles mentioned in orders 4 and 5, then simply do something in those threads
7. Tell me a joke, either in this thread, the Smeg Terranic Chapel thread, or on my personal space

Just to let everyone know, that all orders are voluntary. now, for those who wnat to know what you get for following the orders, here is the list (only for this batch of orders of course):

If you follow 2 or more orders you get: A cup of , directly from me
3 or more orders: A as well
4 or more orders: A piece of too
5 or more orders: A guaranteed promotion when I give out my first batch of promotions in 2003

Enjoy!

spook

*Read the entries trying to come up with something really good to say.*
FYI spook, in A903070 in (I think) the second to last paragraph you had a typo and put "ove" and it should be "over".

spelling corrected, and u don't have to say good things skullock, just give your honest opinions of the entries in the pr threads. it won't effect your chanes of a promotion if you say something bad.

spook

I'll leave you with a joke

*ahem*

What's the difference between the Queen and Bill Clinton







You only have to go down on one knee to meet the Queen

for the last time Reefgirl

1. Done ages ago
2. Done
3. Done
4. Done (you didn't mention what side i had to join on )
5. Done
6. N/A
7. "One day a an inflatable boy took a pin into his inflatable school to show
his inflatable teacher.

His teacher said to him:

'Not only have you let yourself down, but you've let me and the whole school
down.'"

That good enough, sir?

Private Tango

number 1 doesn't count tango as you have to comment again on how it is now, as it's prob changed since u last read it, but u have 5 anyway without it so u'd only be commenting on it again to earn yourself a higher promotion perhaps.

of course, the more jokes the better as well!

I've emailed you some jokes, there are too many to post here. I guess I should re-read the nothing entry. I've been putting it of for weeks as my everytime i read it.

Tango

you really want a promotion. i guess i'm gonna have to think of what to promote you to.

promotions will occur ina couple of weeks, to give people a chance to come back from the xmas holidays and follow the orders.

nice jokes

spook

1,4,5,6,
And this man was sitting in his livingroom, reading his paper. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. The man gets up, opens the door, and facing him is a 6-foot cockroach. The cockroach punches him on the nose, and runs away. The next day, the same thing happens, only the cockroach gives him a karate-chop on the arm. The next day, he gets beat up so badly by the cockroach that he has to go to hospital. While he is sitting in the first aid post, this doctor comes and asks him what happened. The man tells the story, and the doctor nods understandingly. Yes, he says, there's a nasty bug around.

done 2&3 as well SAH!

*pokes head in* Is this our barracks? Didn't know I was in a regiment, sorry I'm late! I'm not too funny, but here's a quote from Jack Handy: "If I had an old mine, I wouldn't just abandon it... there HAS to be a better way!" and one from the dear Ralph Wiggum "Me fail English? That's un-possible!"

Sorry, spook love... didn't mean to come in late, what's up?

not much yet, but i'm soon doing some promotions, so perhaps you should impress me with some jokes or something!

The other day I was late coming home from a party. My parents, being parents, start asking all sorts of questions as to why I was late. I told them I had got pulled over by a cop. Then continued to question me. I told them to calm down and listen so I could explain. I had lost track of time as we were watching a movie, but I left as soon as i realised what time it was and hurried as fast as i could home. As I has driving home I notice the cop pull out behind me, this made me a little nevous as cops seem to pull anyone over around here just for fun. Suddenly a duck(or some kind of foul) flew out of the ditch, hit the hood of my pick up, and went over the top of my vehical and hit the police car behind me. The cop them turned on his lights, pulled me over and gave me a ticket. "For what?" my parents asked. Well, for Flipping him the bird.

There's my joke hope it makes sense!

Is flipping someone a bird an expression?

{we also call it "giving them the finger" here in the U.S.}

Hey... what did one burp say to the other burp?








Let's be rebels and go out the other end!!!!!





Okay. I got nuthin'.

-yankee-shoes.

What did the sea say to the shore?


















Nothing, it just waved!

I go away for a bit and come back to this confusion!

Captain Bishop Odo, reporting for duety after an extended leave of absence due to technical difficulties, Sir.

Considering that Our Dear Leader, spook, has temporarily taken leave out of family bereavement, the next question is... who is the highest ranking officer? Because they should mobilize the force * Pleeze don't let it be me.*

yankee is the highest ranking officer, however, i think i'm gonna leave him temporarily in charge with bishop odo, so you are joint in charge until further notice.

spook

Right you are then.

Hmmm, off to try and find out what is going on.

*mutters* I don't know, you have to leave for a few weeks and ..........