A Conversation for Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Peer Review: A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 1

Lowmankind

Entry: Wollongong, NSW, Australia - A858260
Author: Lowmankind - U207066

An article about the city of Wollongong, which is located just down the coast from Sydney, Australia.

The article is written with a slight sense of cynicism and frankness, but it was also written by a lifetime resident of the city, and thus represents the overall attitude of the city reasonably well.

I'm thinking the bit about Queen is un-politically correct (I hate that term) and may be deemed offensive by some, but my intention was to tiptoe around the words "f***ing faggots", as I know just how offensive some find that combination of words. Yes, those are the words used to describe Queen in Corrimal before they were huge. Australia sure knows bigotry. Well, what I'm trying to say is that if that bit gets cut, I sure understand why smiley - smiley


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 2

sprout

Interesting and comprehensive

smiley - cheers

I think the bit about Queen is OK, if you think it illustrates attitudes in the city at that time...

One small point - I'm not sure you need the long footnote on the difference between rugby league and rugby - I would however refer to the player who switched to 'rugby' as having switched to 'rugby union' as it will definitely help the comprehension of Brit readers.

I was intrigued by the name Wollongong - you don't know what it happens to mean in the aboriginal language do you?

Sprout


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 3

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

Excellent piece of writing as far as I can tell smiley - ok Nicely balanced, not too serious, and factual. The only thing I want to make any comment on is that murder is a violent thing in and of itself, so saying that Arkell was murdered under violent circumstances is tautology. You could qualify it by saying that it was a particularly violent murder if you don't want to give any details.

Well done smiley - smiley


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 4

Lowmankind

I can find out what the name 'Wollongong' means, although it may take a few days. What I can say right now is that Wollongong is part of the Illawarra region -- and the name 'Illawarra' is another Aboriginal name meaning "between the mountains and the sea".

Your comment about the Rugby footnote is fair enough, no argument here. Changing it to "rugby union" is absolutely fine. Ironically, I found myself writing "rugby" for the sake of readers from non-rugby (league or union) regions, namely America. But then, it's important to remember that the majority of people that frequent h2g2 are most likely DNA fans i.e. not American smiley - smiley

Regarding the Arkell murder, well, I was wondering just how that might be received. The full details of the incident are horrific to say the least, and certainly nothing to dwell on. However, I think that it is one of the most prominent pieces of the region's recent history, and certainly something that will stick out in the minds of the locals. At any rate, it was a particularly violent and nasty death for the man, and I would like that reflected in the article, so your suggestion for saying it was "a particularly violent murder" is welcome.

Thanks for the feedback guys.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 5

Lowmankind

ok, I've made those recommended changes. Another few days yet on the meaning of the name "Wollongong", but it will be done.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 6

McKay The Disorganised

Another sporting connection for you - Speedway. Les Hewitt one time top rider for the Coventry Bees and Australia, returned to Woolongong with his English bride at the end of his career. I believe he started a retail clothing company, which one of his sons now runs.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 7

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

Looking good smiley - smiley

I doubt that the mentions of paedophilia will make it through the editing process unless you change 'rumoured' to 'alleged', and maybe not even then. Perhaps you could find a link to a reputable web page about the story and link to it with a note to the effect that if researchers want to find out more, they can do so here.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 8

Ormondroyd

As a Sub-editor, I must agree with Gosho about the references to paedophilia. The allegations were unproven, and to repeat them here about a dead man seems unneccessary.

But otherwise, well done! You could save the Sub-editor who ends up with this entry a bit of work by writing all numbers up to and including ten in words rather than figures, and changing the double quote marks to single ones - those are just Edited Guide style things. And the Edited Guide is surely where this entry is headed. smiley - ok

Incidentally, another Wollongong sporting snippet: the English soccer team I support, Bradford City, signed a player named Paul Reid from Wollongong Wolves in the summer. He made City's starting eleven for the first time yesterday, and scored both our goals in a 2-1 win over Norwich City! smiley - footballsmiley - biggrin


Removed

Post 9

Lowmankind

This post has been removed.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 10

Lowmankind

Thanks again for the input.

With slight duress I have edited the mention of Arkell's murder. You're right: his activities were alleged, not proven, so it would be incorrect to mention this aspect of the case.

I've also updated the section on Sport to include the additional info you have given me (thanks, by the way smiley - smiley ). I've never heard of Les Hewitt, and I don't quite know what you mean by "Speedway" -- presumably it is some form of racing, although I am unclear as to the details. To this end, I have used your exact words and italicised it for now, with the intention of editing later.

Hope you don't mind me using your words, either. Feel free to take researcher's credits.

Thanks again
Tom

(p.s. I can only assume that my previous post has been removed due to the mention of, er, a certain famous trial in America a few years ago. I hadn't intended to post something that would be considered offensive, so sorry. I'm better aware of the House Rules now.)


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 11

Ormondroyd

Speedway is a form of team motorbike racing, still fairly popular in Britain, though less so than it used to be. More info can be found here: http://www.british-speedway.co.uk/ . (Actually, speedway would make a great subject for a Guide entry. I'm probably not enough of a fan to write it alone, but I'd be up for a collaboration).

If you think anyone deserves a co-writing credit, you should put their Researcher numbers into the box headed 'Edit the Researcher List' at the bottom of the editing form. But I'm certainly not claiming a credit for that little bit of smiley - football info I supplied, nice though it is to see my team mentioned in another entry! smiley - smiley


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 12

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

Gotta agree with you about a speedway entry Ormy - I used to go and watch the local team (Romford Bombers) every Thursday night until they lost their venue smiley - sadface

I'm probably not the person to write it though as that was something like 30 years ago, and I haven't been to a speedway meet since.

I'm surprised that speedway isn't well known in Australia any more - I believe that Aussies were quite instrumental in getting the sport introduced to the UK in the 1920s.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 13

Orcus

This is a wonderful article. It particularly caught my attention as my Aunt and family used to live in Wollongong (which incidentally I've alwaus pronounced as it looks so thanks for the info on that). Of course nowadays they have betrayed the place and moved to Sydney suburbia.

Shame I can't pick it yet really as it's my turn atm... maybe if I find nothing else by Thursday... smiley - smiley

Orcus


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 14

Lowmankind

Oh, I see... What you guys call Speedway, we just call "dirt bikes"... as you can see, we're an imaginative lot smiley - winkeye


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 15

Lowmankind

YES!

I've finally got it in its final form. Hopefully there is nothing else to be done, but at any rate I think the article is in a state of completeness -- at least, that it is ready to go to the next phase. What happens next is beyond me, as I am new to the peer review process, so I leave it in your capable hands.

keeponrockin
Tom


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 16

McKay The Disorganised

Very generous of you to credit me - I've had people take huge chunks of my input previously with nary a thank you. Les was a friend of my father's - also a speedway rider, and Pat, Les's bride, was a friend of my mother's.

Alas I'm not the person to write the speedway article either, as I also rarely attend nowadays, though at least my team still exists.


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 17

Lowmankind

Hey, no problem. Credit where credit's due, kind of thing. I'm amazed that so many other people don't extend the same gratuity. After all, h2g2 is supposed to be a community, rather than a vehicle for egos, so I don't see why we can't give out credit -- however small -- to those who deserve it.

keeponrockin
Tom


A858260 - Wollongong, NSW, Australia

Post 18

Orcus

Your article when entered for Peer Review will have a seven day maturity period when people post in and comment and you can ammend the article (or not) accordingly. This period of course can continue until a scout picks the entry and passes on the details to the site editors. They then decide whether they like the entry or not and if so then it gets passed on to a sub-editor for further refining before its appearance on the front page of h2g2 smiley - smiley
The seven day thing is a kind of stop gap - we simply aren't able to pick an article until the seven days are over. This is to try and prevent the old situation where some article used to get picked from Peer Review within 10 minutes of being posted there whereas some other, perfectly good articles used to languish for months before being picked.

Unfortunately for you, depsite wanting to pick this last week, your seven days incubation period expired one day *after* my deadline so you'll have to wait for a scout other than me to pick it now. This is a good sign though, if one wants to pick it, be sure that there are others also. smiley - smiley

Just for your information.

smiley - cheers

Orcus


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Post 19

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Post 20

Orcus

Cool. smiley - bubbly


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