h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ashland (n)
The area outside a hospital, usually around a back door, where a disconcerting number of doctors and nurses can be seen smoking like chimneys.


Burgh-le-Marsh (n)
The trilingual panel (usually in English, French, and German, though sometimes English, French, and Spanish) seen on any product marketed internationally.


Burpham (n)
One of those cloths new parents put over their shoulder when patting a baby's back, just in case something more than gas comes up.


Chipping Campden (n)
The process of removing the thick pancake makeup of a pantomime dame after a performance.


Clwyd (n)
No idea. A Welsh cloud, perhaps?


Cullompton (n)
The technical term for one who sounds like the proverbial herd of elephants when he/she walks.


Fakenham (n)
One who is so appalling at acting that it is a wonder that he or she is seen even once in a movie or television programme.


Feckenham (n)
The permanent state of mind of misanthropic degenerates like Jack Hackett from 'Father Ted' or the author of this definition.


Frunze (n)
The crusty, granular deposits around the tops of liqueur bottles.


Frutuoso (n)
A celebrated artist or performer whose sexuality has ever been made public knowledge, but of whom everybody is fairly sure it isn't heterosexual. See also: Miningsby


Glenelg (n)
An incurable palindrome addict.


Jurf ed Darawish (n, onomatopoeic)
Any of the incomprehensible burblings made by the manager of the Plymouth Argyle football team.


Kharar (v)
To waste an entire day, somehow managing to be constantly busy, yet never getting anything actually done.


Linth (n)
That part of a major appliance which is rarely manufactured as a spare part, but which is engineered to be the first to fail, requiring either that you pay more for a replacement part than you spent on the whole appliance, or that you must buy another whole new appliance.


Little Ouse (n)
The neighbourhood child practically everyone wants to see put to sleep, but of whom nobody ever dares admit to harbouring such feelings.


Little Petherick (n)
One of those children who absolutely must own the latest fad item, no matter what the cost, and who quickly tires of it once he or she has it.


Little Walsingham (n)
A humourless child with a mental age of about fifty-seven.


Luzy (adj)
So angry that you're actually smiling and vibrating with rage.


Mattoon (n)
One whose only purpose in life is to be an obnoxious prat on the internet.


Paoning (ptcpl v)
Of tourists, to attempt to speak a foreign language by using a phrasebook, but speaking the words in their own native accent and leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that they're from Birmingham or Iowa.


Ptuj (n)
A bolus, or 'gob,' of anything that has just been expectorated.


Quoich (n, onamatopoeic)
The sound produced while walking through mud on a farm.


Raingarh (adj)
Feeling put-upon and bitter when looking out the window at horrible weather, and knowing that you have to go out into it.


Weatherly (adj)
Feeling warm, contented, and smug when looking out the window at horrible weather, and knowing that you don't have to go out into it.

Mattoon!

There's finally a word for me.

B

Can I add one (I can only think of one):-

Prescot : To prescot means to press hard on a goats sides until it yelps and bites you on the foot.

You get up to some very strange things, don't you?

B

. I haven't any experience of this personally (honest), but I have a vision of what it must look like.

Why do I not believe that?

B

, please believe me. My reputation will be tarnished (what reputation I hear you say) if people think I go around all day pushing on goats sides.

Actually Prescot is a place near me, and I was just trying to think of something that would make it stand out. What can I say I have a vivid imagination

Terran

Hmmm...

Prescot (v.) - Of politicians, to openly ignore their own legislation because it doesn't apply to their private lives.

I may have been doing this too long...

B

, I was missing the obvious! Thats better, but maybe :-

Prescot (v.) - Of politicians, to openly ignore their own legislation because it doesn't apply to their private lives and to use a left jab when someone notices this.

Or does that make it worse again

Maybe a little bit less subtle. ANd less generalised, of course.

B

Yeah I think maybe I should go with your version.

How about this as well :-

"Kirby (v.) : To kirby is to greet some one by way of kindly forcing your forehead in to the middle of the other persons face. Commonly refered to as a head butt."

If you've ever heard of the "Kirby Kiss" you'll know what I'm talking about.

Cronton : To dig aimlessly for black coloured rock.

Rainhill : Place to drop lots of square "bumps" on the roads of wealthy people

*Please tell me when to stop *

Keep going...I'm enjoying it.

I'm afraid I can't allow Kirby, as there is a definition in the original 'Liff'. I'll put the others in when I do an update, though.

B

I haven't actually got the book, is there a listing on the internet so I can check? I had a feeling that Kirby might get in there . Not one of my favourite places I must admit though

I think you'll find it's still under copyright for 48 years or so, so fat chance there.

Get down to Amazon and buy one. It's only £4:79

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0330322206/qid=1038927129/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_3_1/026-1207683-4194847

B

I'll have a look around. Till I find it :-

Tranmere : A place to kill giants, esp. with the kick of a spherical ball.

Oh, and I have to add this one.

Thursday Island : A small area for "things".

No Thingite definitions in here, please.

B