h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

1345 EV, fords & Ku'Reshtin arrive and are immediately hailed by Zagreb. Table bagged with surprising ease.
1350 Ku' returns from bar with drinks and a Jamie.
1400 Discussion of My Little Pony.
1410 Ku' gets Munchkin out.
1425 EV is blocked from returning from the bar by several Village People tribute acts. Babel-17 and Fashion Cat arrive with child.
1500 EV: "What do you have to do to a mushroom to get it to go hard?" fords: "Well, you tickle it just there..."
1508 Jamie removes jacket; means business.
1510 fords returns from toilet: "A sailor just got punched in the nads."
1540 Googling brain jelly moulds.
1545 Mass slagging of Jimmy Carr.
1557 Godwin's Law!
1618 Jason wets B17's pants. No, really.
1634 Pickled hedgehogs.
1650 Rastatrain.
1715 Animals are drawn.
1751 Russell Brand's pumpkin arse discussed.
1809 Munchkin still sitting unused on the bench.
1815 Enormously tall man who looks a bit like DD enters.
1824 Steven Tyler turns up at next table.
1839 Half an hour spent trying to remember the name of a 1970s comedian.
1850 Informed that we have to leave by 8 due to presence of small child.
1858 Toast to absent friends.
1922 Zagreb gets his crack filled.
1935 "Jamie, when did you last not have a beard?" "Sometime between 1997 and 2001."
1937 Meet disintegrates. B17, FC and J leave before being chucked out.
1948 Everyone else starts playing "It's Alive!"
2020 Ku' wins It's Alive. Meet breaks up in despair.