I hope you people are having fun out there.
I hope spring is treating you well, and that you had a glorious time at the h2g2 Meet, and that all your bicycle sprockets are going a-pocket-a-pocket-a-queep. I hope Hootooers everywhere are enjoying themselves.
The entire staff went gallivanting off, and left me to mind the store. The rest of you lot refused to send in any copy. You see the unfortunate result below. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. You are despicable.
I'm sure everything will be fine next week. Once Bel is back at the helm, the entries will just come flooding in – exciting travelogues, inspirational art, humour, literature, di ganze megillah. Pah. I know it was something I said. *sob*
The least you can do is read the latest installment of Bel's trip to Turkey. It's brilliant, and it tells you more about the toilets of antiquity than you ever thought you wanted to know. Awix, bless him, went above and beyond in his determination to bring us top-flight entertainment criticism. (You owe him a vote of gratitude: my backup entry involved Thor, and had a lot of Old Norse in it.)
For the rest, you could at least pretend to read it, you insufferable gits.
Bel, I washed the windows and took out the trash. Ignore what the postman says – it wasn't me, I wasn't there, and he's lying, I swear...
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MY SINUSES CAME BACK FROM ARIZONA
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