Advertising the Un-Advertisable - Digital Sundial
Created | Updated Jun 17, 2011
The authors are responding to the Post Writing Challenge of advertising the un-advertisable. As usual, they paid no attention to the instructions. (So what else is new?)
As usual, the results are gratifying. Rules be darned.
As usual, we repeat the instructions – not because anybody pays attention to them – but just as a general reference.
Write, compose, draw or even film an ad. But – and here's the kicker – it has to be something you can't BUY. Something intangible but necessary, such as peace, math ability, or a decent sense of humour. You may OFFER TO SELL this commodity, but only in an impractical way. Take your payment in smileys, hugs, or guru sweat-equity, whatever.
And now…
Prof Animal Chaos is obviously inspired by this theme. He is determined to sell us things – whether we want them or not.
I know I don't need one of these, but somehow... – DG
Digital Sundial
Folks! Come! Stand closer or you'll miss out on the greatest technological invention the world has ever seen and will see for many a year to come. From the days of marking notches in tall candles to hanging weights below cuckoo clocks and advancing from wind up watches to battery operated and onwards to digital watches.
This timepiece I have with me leaves ALL those timekeepers standing still and seemingly in the dark ages in technology. I speak of none other than the world's first and only Digital Sundial. YES! You heard correctly Madam! The world's first Digital Sundial and NOT only that, but it comes in many sizes, from picturesque garden sizes and we have three designs of that one, right down to a wrist-sized one, also in three sizes. One to fit a man, one for a female, and the last is a unisex one.
Now I hear you say! Hold on?? Sundials only work when the suns out and shining, casting a shadow and you'd be right there my friends and I couldn't argue on that. BUT! I am talking about a Digital Sundial! The microchip has advanced that far forward that now a one millimetre square microchip can calculate the exact angle of the sun to within 0.0004 of a degree and as long as you change the battery, will do so for the next ten thousand year, giving you perfect time night or day, in all weather conditions, as it doesn't need to be out in the sun. SO! Even if you go caving many hundreds of feet underground, or if you're a submariner and dive to the depths of an Ocean, this timepiece will still give a perfect time. It takes into account, the Earth's magnetic core. It takes into account the Earth's orbit around our sun. It takes into account the Earth's natural slowing down of its own orbit. This timepiece looks every bit like the face of a sundial for authenticity. But its digital and that's where the resemblance ends. No other company or manufacturer in the known world is anywhere near producing a timekeeper of this magnitude. So friends! Step forward and be one of the first to proudly own and show off one, be the envy of all your family and friends as you accurately inform them of the time to the same degree as those atomic clocks, but not in a laboratory but! Be it on your wrist or in your garden, as a centrepiece during a garden party or barbeque. The Digital Sundial will most certainly be one of the talking points on many a lip.
At £39.99 - $65.25 – €45.57 – it's a snip for something of this standard in timekeeping. I'm not haggling about various prices; I'm giving you the straight bottom-line one-off payment, with a money back guarantee if not fully satisfied after one week of use. Please don't forget, we deal in cash only, why! You ask, madam? Why give YOUR money to the taxman eh! He takes enough already doesn't he?
