h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am a Miss. Not a Ms. Not some feminist or divorcee. Not married, not a Mrs.

So why assume that I am a Ms when writing to me.

Even worse, why continue to call me Ms when I have filled in "title" on the form you sent me or explicitly mentioned to you that the correct form of address for me is "Miss."

And grr those forms which don't have the choice - you can be Prof/Sir/Dr/Mr/Ms - no Mrs or Miss and not even the female equivalent of Sir (Lady.)

Miss Mad Hatter

(PS I don't mean to imply there's anything bad about being feminist or divorcee, nor that others can't prefer Ms to Miss, but I'm fed up of assumptions being made about me and the title with which I should be addressed because I'm an unmarried adult female.)

I see where you're coming from on that one, because I'm a 'Miss' too and get irritated by the use of 'Ms'.

But I'm also an office worker who has to write to members of the public on pretty much a daily basis. Not every woman who writes to us does us the courtesy (as you do) of telling us how they like to be addressed.

Speaking personally, I consider it a matter of courtesy to answer a letter using an appropriate form of address - but if I'm not told what it is, then I have no choice but to use 'Ms'. It may annoy ladies out there that we're calling them 'Ms' instead of 'Mrs' or 'Miss' - but if they don't tell us that they're a 'Miss' or a 'Mrs', then they will be called 'Ms' as we don't know what else to call them.

For every 'Mrs' or 'Miss' who objects to being called 'Ms', there's a 'Ms' who objects to being called 'Mrs' or 'Miss'. We're between the proverbial rock and hard place here, I'm afraid.

On a related note - and this is my rant for the day - those people out there who write to offices using just their initials and surname - what do you want us to think you are? A horse? That puts me in the invidious position of using your full name - or, worse still, 'Sir/Madam' which irritates me even more than 'Ms'. That makes the letter look like a standard printoff, rather than the individually written item of correspondence that it is - and then people complain that office staff treat them impersonally!

Okay - some offices *do* treat people impersonally - but I try very hard not to. (calms down again).

So, thank you Mad Hatter for making our lives easier when writing to you we need more correspondents like you. I'm sorry not everyone is responding to your request to give you the title you want (tiresome, isn't it?). If you ever wrote to me and told me you were a 'Miss' when you did so, then I promise you my response would call you 'Miss'.