h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How many times has an advert irritated you so much that you would choose to do without the product, even if you needed it, rather than give the company responsible your trade?

There's a particular series of "car credit" commercials doing the rounds at the moment (Yes, that one...) which has the subtext "Our green boiler-suited representatives will stalk you, making notes to see if you deserve our credit, and then spring out at you at the most stressful moment to tell you that you're not worthy to own a working car." - in the unlikely event I ever wanted car credit, I think I'd say "No!" to them on the basis of those ads.

And any ad that relies on (a) being louder than all the other ads so you have to leap for the volume control when watching a late night movie, (b) having a child press its face into the camera and squeal to try and stir an emotional response, (c) relies on a montage of "emotional" images to a backdrop of a feminist dirge or (d) all of the above should be grounds for litigation against the broadcaster who allows them to be aired.

With all this modern technology, the advertisers could easily put a feedback system in place allowing the viewer to give a range of responses to an ad., such as "I've already got the product, thanks - please do not show me this ad again.", "I have no interest in this product, please don't show me this ad again" or "I'm sick of seeing this ad, irrespective of the merits of the programme. If you show it to me again, I will arrange for your kneecaps to go on holiday without you."

L'Oreal and Barclays ads fall squarely into the category of "Don't show me this again. I've already seen it too often". Impulse anti-perspirant ads (where the woman won't lift her arms to help a man in trouble 'cos she's using the wrong anti-perspirant) and the VW Passat ad (where the man pretends his car won't start so he doesn't have to give a lift to a man with dandruff) fall into the category of "Don't show me this again. I'm not stupid enough to believe it." I'd also like to be able to blank ads for products that have useless 'ingredients' added, like toilet paper or soap powder with added aloe vera.

In fact, I'd probably go for TiVo if it wasn't so expensive.